How I See Things
by AlphaGirl447
Summary: Emotional scenes from Bones told from Brennan's point of view. Later chapters include Booth's point of view thanks to an amazing collaboration with the talented 5546Laura
1. The Pain in My Heart

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bones**

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The Pain in My Heart

Zach was lying on the bed inside the hospital room. Caroline exited the room, her face a plaster mask over an explosion of emotions. She addressed us all in her prosecutor voice, steady, and calm.

"Zach confessed to killing the lobbyist. Stabbed him in the heart."

I felt my stomach flutter and my throat swell.

"He never ate anybody?" Angela asked nervously.

Caroline furrowed her brow reassuringly and shook her head. "No."

Too many thoughts crowded my head. I couldn't think. For the first time in years, I simply couldn't think.

"So how did this happen?" Angle asked, a flutter obvious in her voice.

At that, I responded automatically. "Logic."

Caroline turned to face me, her confusion obvious on her face. "No. I'm sorry Sheree, that might cut it with you egg heads, but this happened the way this always happens: a strong personality finds a weak personality and takes advantage. I hope we fry the guy."

Booth turned to Caroline and said "That's not going to be necessary."

I lifted my head, eyes widening slightly. I wished we could have watched him wither in court. Made him pay for what he had done. But he was another monster that the world will not miss. Someone who has terrorized countless people and now ruined my life. Some people simply don't deserve to live.

"Good riddance I say." Cam told the group.

Hodgins then voiced the question I had been asking myself for hours. "What'll happen to Zach?"

Caroline faced the scientist. "I cut a deal. He pleads guilty, cooperates, and we find him non compis mentis. That way Zach is moved to a secure psychiatric facility instead of going to prison."

My heart lurched at the thought of Zach going to prison, or worse, being executed. This way, he would live and not constantly be under the pressure of average prison life

The pain in my chest grew as I watched Sweets' face twist in confusion. "No. That won't stand up. Zach isn't actually insa-"

Booth grabbed his arm and pulled him away before he could finish. They talked, but I couldn't bring myself to listen. Zach was my assistant, my student, my colleague, my friend. I couldn't listen to them talk. I turned to face the hospital room.

I looked through the glass, my heart beating quickly. This pain that I felt was irrational. I did not have any heart conditions and yet the very mention of Zach's name gave me a familiar lurch within my chest. It was the same pain I felt for years after my parents' disappearance. I was being abandoned again. This time is wasn't by my family.

But when I raised my hand to wave, I suddenly recalled the Christmas we spent locked in the Jeffersonian, two years ago. I remembered all the family visits, how everyone pressed their hands to the glass, straining to touch each other. I remembered how all of Zach's family had pressed their palms to the transparent surface, and he had gone all down the line, touching the glass where each member of his family held theirs. And I knew, in that instant, that Zach was my family. My wave turned into an open palm pressed against the glass. Zach looked at all of us, lined up against the glass. I stared at him intently, hoping he got my message. He was part of my family now. He had been for years. Interacting with him caused a release of dopamine and other chemicals that Booth would describe as love. He was like my younger brother. And he was leaving me, just like all the family I had ever known. I gave him a sad half smile, my eyes filling with tears. He just stared at me, the two of us saying more in that ten seconds than anyone could say in a two hour conversation. We just stared.

Booth stood with me at the glass. And as everyone turned to leave, he took my arm and gingerly took me to the car. We drove back to the Jeffersonian in silence. I stared straight ahead, thinking of every time I had ever taken Zach for granted. Every time he amazed me with his intellect or hidden talents. My throat was tight, my chest hurt, and my eyes burned from the effort not to cry. No tears had escaped my eyes yet, and I was determined not to let that happen. If I cried, it would make the whole mess real. Zach really would be gone.

Booth opened my door and led me into the Jeffersonian. We walked up the stairs, to the lounge. Everyone was already sitting in silence around the table. I took a seat next to Booth and we all just sat there. Eventually Hodgins got up and walked away. We all watched him go, but nobody said a word. All of us, lost in thought, just sat.

Just as Hodgins returned, carrying a large box, Booth broke the delicate silence. "Probably could have spent more time with Zach. You know, get him to see the world a bit more."

Hodgins placed the box on the table. "All those things I say about secret societies and conspiracies, I never knew he was listening."

Angela spoke next. "I should have gotten him a girlfriend."

I stared at my lap, silent. I should have told him how I felt, how proud of him I was. Maybe then he wouldn't have turned to Gormogon for acceptance and praise. I failed him.

Cam piped up, irritated and exasperated. "Ugh you know what? To hell with Zach. He's an adult he made his choices. People are who they are, there's nothing any of us could have done for the guy."

At that, I raised my head. How could she disrespect him like that? He was part of my family. Neither of us knew it, but for years, Zach was mine. I was everything to him, and I never let myself realize how much I cared for him.

"We love Zach Cam."

She cut me off. "Yeah well he killed someone. He deserves to be locked up for the rest of his life."

I looked back at my hands, folded together in my lap.

Sweets spoke from somewhere across the table. "I feel I must point out that what Dr. Saroyan just said is obviously her way pf handling grief. She doesn't mean it. Quite the opposite in fact."

Cam took a deep painful breath and looked down. "I knew the day I met Zach he'd cause me pain"

Once again I looked up, glancing around the table. We were all silent, and I let my head fall again, staring at my hands.

Booth stood up. "So what'd you got there Hodgins?"

"This is uh-this is- this is Zach's favorite stuff."

Angela leaned forward. "Well what are we going to do with it?"

Cam spoke through her tears. "Where he's going they might actually let him have it."

I leaned towards the box, hearing but not listening to what the others began to say. They each pulled things out of the box, speaking of what they gave to Zach and why. Everything in the box were things people form the lab had given him. But I never gave him anything. All those years that he was my student, then my assistant, then my colleague. And I never gave him anything. There was not a thing for Zach to love from me because I never gave him anything. I loved him. He was part of my new "family" and I never let him know that. This was all my fault. He went to gormogon looking for the acceptance and the recognition that I never let him see. If only I had given him something, let him know how much I cared. This was all my fault.

When I finally started listening again, I only heard sweets. "That's interesting that all of his favorite things are objects that you people gave to him."

I spoke, my voice hoarse and low. "I never gave him anything." My heart lurched at the words spoken aloud.

Angela deflated just a little. "Brennan he totally loved you. I mean as much as he was capable."

I hardly heard her. "But I never gave him anything."

I stood and walked away. I couldn't face them anymore, I couldn't look at the box full of objects. It was too painful. They were just reminders that I had failed him. And he was now on trial for murder because I had failed him. I walked through the Jeffersonian, eventually siting on the great oak staircase. I let out a long breath, defeated and alone. My elbows landed on my knees and I covered my face with my hands. I had failed him. I had failed my family and they left me. And I had failed Zach and he left me. It all came back to me. I should have let him know how much I cared for him, how proud I was. I should have been smarter for Russ, been better behaved. Maybe he wouldn't have left. Maybe he would have found a way to stay. It all came back to me.

I heard approaching footsteps and looked up to find Booth sitting down next to me on the stairs. I turned back to stare at my hands. I couldn't look at him. He unfolded a piece of paper and began to read. I turned to look at his face, a torrent of emotions. As he read out loud, I read over his shoulder. It was the letter I sent Zach when I chose him to be my intern. My cheat tightened and my stomach felt like lead.

Booth turned to face me. "I think you gave him something great Bones."

I met his gaze, my own eyes filling with tears. He handed me the folded letter and I looked at it for a moment. Then I let my hand drop and leaned against my partner. My eyes closed, and a solitary tear ran down my cheek. He rested his head on mine, and I wondered to myself how much he knew. But I couldn't let him know. Because everyone I love, I fail, and they leave me. No. I couldn't possibly let him know.

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Please review! I would love some constructive criticism. If you liked it and want more, review and request what scene/scenes you would like me to do.


	2. The Two Together

This is another one-shot of an emotional scene from the show as told from Brennan's point of view.

Thanks to those who have already reviewed, I already had this written when I posted the first chapter, but I didn't want to upload it until I saw if people enjoyed the first part. I hope you guys like this one too.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Bones**

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The Two Together

 _Season 4 episode 3- 'The Man in the Outhouse' recap: Booth discovers, while working on a case, that his partner is dating two guys. Jason, a botanist with whom she shares a purely conversational relationship with, and Mark, a deep sea welder whom Brennan only sees sexually. Booth thinks this is immoral, unpractical, and wrong. The two men find out about each other just before B and B make the case-solving arrest. This scene is Brennan and Booth in Sweet's office after they close the case._

I walked into sweet's office in front of Booth. We had a meeting, though my mind wasn't really on Sweets at that moment.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "Come on in. You look nice Dr. Brennan."

I immediately looked down at my tight, shimmering, navy blue dress. "Oh, thank you. I-uh I was supposed to go to a Gallery opening tonight."

Booth and I saw down on the couch in our usual positions. "Why, did Jason get a new tight suit?" he asked, somewhat cynically.

I glanced down at my lap. "With Mark."

Sweets smiled knowingly. "Yeah, the two amigos."

I glared at him, unintentionally giving Booth the chance to speak. "I thought he was more of your stay at home kind of a guy." He turned his head to look at me.

"I was visiting the possibility that I might enjoy him in a strictly conversational setting." I met Booth's gaze for only a moment before looking back at my lap.

"And?" he asked inquiringly.

I inhaled deeply before speaking. "Since the murder, I'm considering the argument for monogamy."

Booth grinned. "Ha! Write that one down Sweets. I have a positive influence on her."

"No you don't" I chuckled nervously. "Mark broke up with me." I chuckled a little to ease the tension in the room, then looked at my partner. I felt my smile slowly fade as I looked away.

"Oh. Sorry" he replied. "Well what about gay Jason?"

"Him too" I answered, no longer laughing. I nodded, then turned to Sweets. "I guess they weren't as accepting of each other as I thought. So…"

A nervous laugh escaped from my lips as I faced the phycologist, no longer smiling. Being rejected still hurt, even if sexual attraction was just an involuntary release of hormones and intellectual stimulation could be found in many areas.

"Is it typical for you two to discuss your love lives?" Sweets adjusted his position in the large chair.

I opened my mouth, but hesitated. I knew Booth thought I had bad taste in men.

"Well, I mean only when she has naked men in her apartment." Booth said, facing Sweets.

I looked at him, indignant. "No that's not true! I'm very open about my relationships. As opposed to you…" I got very quiet towards the end, letting my voice fade away.

"Okay what's that supposed to mean?" Booth asked, sounding offended.

"You're very secretive" I said, defensively. "As if discussing your sex life would somehow be offensive to me. I assume you're sexually active." I replied, slightly uncomfortable. I wondered if he knew how I felt discussing his sex life. I couldn't know for sure.

"I do fine" he said. I looked away from Booth and back towards Sweets.

"Does it seem that your partnership provides a surrogate relationship, making it more difficult to form other bonds?"

"A surrogate relationship wouldn't necessarily be such a bad thing. Cause then I could avoid the sting of rejection, which, however fleeting, is still uncomfortable." I said it. It was out there. Now they knew and I couldn't take it back. I didn't look at Sweets after sharing something so revealing. I looked at Booth. Could he possibly know?

Booth's face was drawn and concerned. "Right. K, look I'm sorry. You know what, if Mark and Jason don't know how lucky they are, they don't deserve you in the first place."

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks, and my heart rate quicken. "All relationships are temporary" I said, more to convince myself than anything else. I shifted my gaze once again to stare at my lap.

"No that's not true Bones." He said, staring into my eyes, forcing me to meet his gaze. He leaned in, closing the distance between us. I could almost feel his body heat spreading over me. My face was a still, expressionless mask. But my heart beat wildly and I felt my stomach grow hot with fear.

"You're wrong. Okay? There is someone for everyone. Someone you're meant to spend the rest of your life with."

I took a shallow breath, barely able to function. My cheeks burned and my abdomen felt heavy as lead. I couldn't speak, I had no words to reply to his analysis.

"You just have to be open enough to see it." I met his gaze, staring into his melted chocolate colored eyes. I forgot how to breathe. Could he know?

"That's all." We stared into each other's eyes for what felt like eternity. My breathing was shallow and irregular. I hated that he made me feel this way. I hated that I had no control over my own body. But I didn't hate him. Could he have any idea? I couldn't tell. I knew I was in love with him years ago. I was always painfully aware of my attraction to him. But could he know? I couldn't discern any meaning in his brown eyes. I couldn't read people like he could. We just stared at each other, silent.

He inhaled deeply. "Come on. I'll buy you dinner." I hesitated, still trapped in my own world. "Hey, I can be fun in a strictly conversational setting." And just like that, I was shaken from my thoughts.

"See? Surrogate relationship." Sweet said as we stood up.

"Surrogate nothing. It's a meal, with drinks, strictly conversational." Booth clarified as he helped me into my jacket.

"I could come too" Sweets offered.

"Actually, our partnership does make it difficult to form other bonds." I replied, quoting the psychologist. If only he knew what I really meant. "No offense."

"Our session isn't over yet" Sweets protested as we left the room.

"How about Chinese?" Booth asked.

"I love Chinese" the doctor interjected.

"I feel more like Thai" I replied. Booth and I always ate Thai. It was our thing.

"Thai? I've got coupons to Hop Lee!" Booth exclaimed, protesting my choice of food.

And we left, all thoughts of my dilemma with my partner gone from my mind. Emotions were too difficult for me. I too often don't understand them, and Sweets can tell far too much about me by watching me struggle. Someday he will find out the truth about my feelings for Seeley. I really hate psychology.

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Please review. If you liked my approach, request any scenes/episodes you would like me to do.


	3. He Knows

Booth shifted in the driver's seat. "Maybe you just need a couple days off."

"I'm alright now." I turned to look at him, a familiar tightening in my chest. I chuckled nervously. "Except I- I made a mistake." I stared at him, still unsure if I wanted him to know this. But Angela told me once: "Give up a piece of yourself every once in a while. Tell somebody something you're not entirely sure you want them to know." This was as deep a secret as I could reveal. Maybe it was time for me to take the leap of faith that I couldn't all those months ago in front of the Hoover.

He looked me in the eye for longer than was safe, his fear and apprehension clear. "Naw I- I told you my opinion. I mean you got it right."

I fought down the fluttering in my stomach and shook my head. "Not everything." We continued to stare at each other. I could feel the heat of fear spread through my body. Every impulse, every instinct that I had screamed for me to leave the situation, to back track like I had so many times before. But I met Booth's gaze, I did not flinch.

He looked away from me, pain evident behind his eyes. He was the only person in the word whom I could read. And I could see that he feared what I might say next. But I continued.

"She died with regrets." I felt tears beginning to form, but I refused to lower my head. I had been running for too long. It was time to face my reality, whether I got hurt in the end or not.

He scoffed quietly, nervously. "Come on, Bones, everybody has regrets." His voice caught ever so slightly on the last word. Not knowing how to respond, I chuckled anxiously.

"I heard her. You know?"

I tried to smile at him, but he turned towards the road. Emotions had never been something I let into my life. I built walls, dams, and bridges so I could avoid the dark, deep water. I refused to let myself drown, I wouldn't even let one toe dip in the water. But now, my dams were crumbling, my bridges were falling, and I needed a way to stay afloat. I turned to my last remaining scapegoat- logic.

"Micah says that all we get are these…" I chuckled, remembering the lovable security guard. "…dim, staticy messages from the universe."

Booth was clearly distressed, he glanced from me to the road. "Who is this Micah guy?"

I nodded slightly. "The night watchman. But he attends a lot of lectures. Anyway, the point is…" I paused. Could I really do this? After years of hiding, and countless times of starting and pulling back, could I reveal so much of myself to him? Could I allow myself to swing that last, devastating blow and break my weakening dam? Or should I stop, retreat in on myself, patch up my walls, rebuild my bridges, hide away from the dark and swirling water? No. I had to let myself fall apart at some point. I had to trust someone with information I wasn't entirely sure I wanted them to know.

Booth looked at me, apprehension clear on his tight features. But I kept going. I had passed the point of no return.

"She never gave him a chance." My voice wavered as I spoke, revealing the emotions behind my walls. I watched my partner carefully, my heart beating wildly in my chest. There, it was out there, I had thrown a glove onto a bridge and whether or not someone chose to reach out and take it, it was there. My stomach was hot, and the tightness in my chest grew worse.

"Micah?" Booth asked, sounding almost hopeful.

"No." I shook my head, my voice falling. "The helicopter pilot. He offered himself to her but she never gave him a chance." At that, I broke. My voice rose with my distress and the tears began to well in my eyes. I took a moment before speaking again. "That was her regret."

There. I had said it. He understood, but I had to say it aloud. I had to finish everything, finally tell him what I should have told him years ago. But he stared at me, furrowing his brows, ad asking silent questions.

"I got the signal Booth. I don't want to have any regrets." The weight in my stomach grew heavier, and my heart twitched painfully as I struggled through each word. I love you. Oh god Booth I love you.

I closed my mouth, letting silence fill the car. My entire heart was ripped out of my chest and laid down for him to see. My dam was leaking, my bridges were no longer sound. He made eye contact with me. Everything behind those warm brown eyes screamed pain. He took a breath, I could sense his voice before he spoke. I felt my face fall, my eyes betraying my fear and anxiety.

"You know, I'm with someone." He spoke barely above a whisper. "And uh, Hannah, she's not a consolation prize. I love her." I turned away from him, tears threatening to spill over my cheeks. The dam broke. I was drowning in years of trapped pain and I couldn't seem to be able to fight my way to the surface. My lungs filled, my eyes burned, I was surrounded on all sides. I couldn't get away. I bent my head down to my chest, sobbing. I had never felt pain this intense. I really was drowning, and there was no one to pull me to safety. My only life line was watching me drift down into the deep and he couldn't do anything to save me.

I breathed deeply, refusing to let him see me at my most vulnerable. He knew now. All those years wondering, and I just told him. I had ripped out my own heart and handed it to him. I forced him to make a choice. And in that instant, he broke my heart in two to save the woman that he loved. I shouldn't have told him. Now I was left with the pieces of a broken heart, and no way to heal.

"You know, the last thing I want to do is hurt you, but those are the facts."

I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't see him. If I saw his face, everything would be real. When I finally opened my eyes and raised my head, tears ran races down my cheeks.

"I understand." My voice cracked with each word. I finally forced myself to look at him, he stared at the road. I looked away, the pain was unbearable. "I missed my chance."

A small, pained laugh came from my lips. "My whole world turned upside down." I glanced over at my partner. "I can adjust." I said, more to convince myself than anything else. I raised my hand to wipe away the tears than escaped from my eyes.

"I did." He answered me, carefully and quietly.

My voice was breathy and pained. "Yes, you did." Why hadn't I taken his offer at the Hoover? Why had I been so scared? I was afraid of losing myself in the torrent of water that would overwhelm me. I was afraid to break my dams. And that was what I just did. Before I could stop myself, I laughed just a little. I looked at him, terrified he would ask. But he didn't notice. I looked back at the road.

He was in pain, he was broken just like I was. "Do you want me to- uh- call someone? To be with you?"

I couldn't speak for several seconds. And when I finally did, my voice quivered, shaky and unsteady. "No, I'm fine. Alone." Even when I had hurt him, even when I had thrown him a choice between the woman he loved and me, he still thought of me. He still cared, even if I wasn't the one he wanted to see at the end of every day. "Thanks."

I leaned my head against the seat and closed my eyes. We were about five minutes from my apartment and I was silent for the rest of the ride. Booth pulled up in front of my building, and I opened the car door. But as I stood, he reached over and grabbed my wrist. Instinctively, I recoiled from his touch. Suddenly his faced flashed with pain and understanding. He realized how much pain he had caused me and he let my wrist go immediately.

"I'm- I'm sorry Temperance." I could only nod as the tears began anew. I couldn't even thank him for how kind he was, I just turned and fought every urge to run at top speed into my building. I didn't hear him drive off until I was through the door, but I never once looked back. Funky music was playing in the lobby. All the night guards liked to play weird and upbeat music to dance along to. They even changed the elevator music every night. I smiled through my pain and stepped onto the empty elevator.

As I stepped into my apartment, I grabbed the remote to my stereo and pressed play. I wanted some loud music to lose myself in. But as I kicked off my shoes and leaned against the corner, a deeply familiar beat reverberated around my apartment. My knees gave out and I sunk to the floor, sobbing. Tears streamed down my face, and I didn't try to stop them. I buried my face in my legs, gripping my thighs tight to my chest. I let myself cry, reliving all of the times I had tried to tell Booth how I felt about him. All the times I backtracked and later had to patch up my leaking dams and bridges. I relived the night he offered himself to me and I denied him. And as "Hot Blooded" came to a close, I could only form one thought. He knows. Yes I am hurt, but he knows. He finally knows.


	4. A Note to My Readers

Hey everyone! I hope you all have enjoyed the last three chapters, but now I need your help. I'm at a loss for what scene from the show to rewrite next! Please, if you have any suggestions, let me know!

Thank you for your time,

AlphaGirl13


	5. The Women In Limbo

**I asked you for suggestions, and you responded. I'll be writing a few more soon, hopefully by next week. Thank you to 5546Laura for the suggestion to do a scene from The Woman in Limbo**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Bones**

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The Women in Limbo

I placed the chopsticks on my coffee table and turned to face Booth. "If you keep bringing Chinese food in the middle of the night, we're both going to get fat." I looked back at the table covered with takeout containers.

He only laughed. But his face quickly grew somber. "I know what you've been thinking."

I turned to look at him, my elbows resting on my knees. I had no idea who I was anymore. My entire life was a lie, and now I had no idea where Joy ended and Temperance began. My entire family was a collection of liars and felons. I was alone, and I was losing myself. I was in limbo as much as my mother was.

"I doubt it."

He met my even gaze. "You've been thinking that your family is made up of liars. And criminals. And that makes you feel lonely." I let my eyes drop towards the ground. How could he read me? How could he have any idea how I felt? My emotions were not something I wore lightly. I guarded them carefully, if I let the wrong person see them I would be broken. So I didn't show them to anyone. I had built myself walls and fortresses to keep people out, but in the process I was locking myself in.

"There's a story here that we don't know yet." My eyes flicked back towards his face. Did he really think there was another explanation? It was irrational, but I found myself hoping he was right. As much as my parents' disappearance had hurt me, they were still my parents. I wanted the truth, just like I had since the day they left. "Like what?"

"Bones, don't know means it's a mystery." My eyes dropped to the floor, back to his face, and then back to the ground. My parents were criminals who abandoned me. They lied about their pasts, lied about who I really was, and they left with no explanation. And yet, underneath the indifference, and the deeply buried pain that I felt at every mention of their names, was a little flicker of something kinder. He would describe it as love, but it was remorse. Remorse at losing the people who had cared for me and raised me. Love is just a release of chemicals like all emotions.

I didn't even know who my parents were anymore. Everything I thought I knew was a lie. I didn't know who I was either. "What were your parents like?" I asked.

He laughed slightly, then his face grew serious. "My parents. Well my dad, he uh- he drove thuds and phantoms in Vietnam. Those are fighter jet." I smiled slightly and nodded, signaling that I understood. "After that he uh- he was a barber in Philadelphia. And my mom, she wrote jingles for a local advertising agency." He smiled, obviously these were fond memories of his childhood. He knew who his parents were. And more importantly, he knew who he was. I felt a certain pain spread throughout my body. It affected every nerve, every sensation.

"So they didn't go out at night after you were asleep and rob banks?" at the mention of the reality of my parents' lives, my face fell from a slight smile to an expressionless mask. I felt heavy. Every movement seemed to require extra effort. I shifted my eyes away from his gaze.

"Listen Bones, you know, parents- uh- they have secret lives." My eyes glanced up to meet his, and he gave me a reassuring smile. But I couldn't find it in myself to return the gesture. "If they didn't, they wouldn't be parents."

I turned my head away from him, staring at the floor. My heart rate increased and I could feel heat rising in my cheeks. Why was he being so nice to me? No, this was too much. Why did he have such an effect on me? It made no logical sense.

Booth sat up and stretched. "It is a little late for Chinese isn't it? Thanks for the meal." He smiled and winked at me. "See you tomorrow." He stood up off my couch and left.

I straitened up, and breathed deeply, trying to make sense of the jumbled thoughts inside my head. He was just so kind and caring. He could see right through me as if I were glass. He had taken, and was still taking, the time to truly get to know me. I wasn't just Dr. Brennan to him. He had nicknamed me. I was Bones.

I sat back on the couch and let my head fall against the back. With my eyes closed I replayed the scenes in my head: When I first saw him at my lecture on de-fleshing, when he came up to me, looking for my assistance on a case. Our first case, though I didn't know it at the time. And I remembered striking him, leaving and not seeing him for a year. Him picking me up at the airport, and our subsequent tense partnership. I remembered when I first realized that I was in love with him. The moment that he called my Bones, on our third or fourth case, and it no longer made my skin crawl. And never again did I tell him to stop.

And all of a sudden I felt a tear slip down my cheek. My parents had abandoned me at fifteen, my mother has just been proven murdered, and my father was still missing. And Booth was right there by my side. He was comforting me and letting me know that I was going to be okay. Letting the tears fall freely, I stood and walked into the bedroom. As I laid down, my last thought was of Booth watching me cry and telling me to go home.

 _She was being brutally assaulted. A knife was being plunged into her time and time again, letting blood flow, but never hitting bone. She screamed my father's name as he plunged the blade into her flesh again and again._

" _NO! Stop! Don't hurt her!" I cried out. I tried to move my feet, to help her, but suddenly I found myself locked in the trunk of a car, my hands burnt and soapy. I screamed and pounded on the roof, trying to reach my mother. I beat the roof till my raw skin began to bleed and drip down my arms._

 _Then I was standing next to my father as my parents stood outside my house. "Are you sure about this?" he asked her. She nodded. "I don't want to be a parent anymore." My father watched her expressionless face. "I found our old crew in southern Texas. Don't you at least want to say good bye?" my mother shook her head. "I kissed Russ this morning. I never loved Temperance anyway." My father nodded and they climbed into the car. I screamed, trying to run after it, trying to hold my mother one last time. But I couldn't move, my feet were rooted in my doorway as my parents drove off without a backwards glance. "NOOOO!"_

 _Suddenly there was a strong hand on my shoulder. I was standing in the Hoover building and Booth came up behind me. "I'm sorry Bones, but I'm leaving."_

" _What are you talking about?" I frantically grabbed his arm as he walked away. "No, stop. Why are you leaving me?"_

" _I never loved you Dr. Brennan." He turned and I saw my parents standing at the elevator._

 _They spoke in unison. "We never loved you Joy."_

 _Booth joined them, the three standing in a line, blocking my only escape._

" _We never loved you Joy. We never loved you Joy." They repeated the same phrase over and over, slowly advancing and trapping me in a corner. I sank to the ground, covering my ears with my hands. "No stop! I am Dr. Temperance Brennan. My parents were a bookkeeper and a high school science teacher. I work with Agent Seeley Booth to solve murders. My name is Dr. Temperance Brennan!" I fell on my side, covering my head and curling in a ball. "We never loved you Joy."_

"NO!" I bolted upright, screaming. The sheets were twisted and sweat poured down my face. My breathing was heavy and labored. Heart racing, I threw off the twisted covers. My eyes darted around the dark room, the terror still lingering in my mind. Leaning over, I switched on my bedside lamp and swung my legs over the side of the bed. Resting my elbows on my knees, I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. I cried for hours, just letting myself feel all the pain that I had locked away for years. When my eyes were dry, and my body was physically exhausted, I stood and got dressed. As I left my apartment, I locked the door and shut off all the lights. I didn't plan on being back for a while. I walked out to my car and drove to the Jeffersonian.

I walked into the Medio-legal lab and to my surprise, all the lights were on. I walked to Angela's office, but she wasn't there. Next I wandered down the hallway to where Hodgins worked. I entered the doorway carefully, not wanting to disturb whoever was inside.

Zach was sitting at a computer but turned when he heard we walk in. "Dr. Brennan. Is it morning?"

No, it was three am. "No. I c-I couldn't sleep." What a gross understatement that was. "Why are you still here?"

"We're all here. No one's leaving until we figure out what happened to your mother." Zach turned back to the computer.

"Thank you." My soft voice conveyed how deeply touched I was by their gesture.

Zach sighed in frustration. "Don't thank me. I'm failing."

I just wanted to lose myself in work. I couldn't face the emotions anymore. My body was spent and my mind was confused and overworked. I needed something familiar, something I could understand. I needed to feel like I was in control again. I couldn't control the nightmares, I couldn't control who my parents were or how they died, I couldn't control my feelings for Booth, but I could control and understand the evidence sitting in front of me. I approached the computer, intending to do just that.

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Thank you all for the reviews and suggestions! As always, I welcome reviews!

~AlphaGirl13


	6. One of Those People

Thank you to MstgSzy for the suggestion for this chapter! It's been one hell of a weekend, sorry I didn't get this to you guys sooner.

 **Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Bones**

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 _Season 6 Episode 12- The Sin in the Sisterhood Recap- Booth and Brennan are called to a body in a cornfield. The victim proves to be a farmer who had three wives. They appeared happy at first, but the investigation turns up some hidden feelings, and some disguised animosities._

We watched Cam and Paul from across the room. He handed her a gift, she laughed, and they sat down.

"They make a nice couple don't they?" I asked

Booth smiled. "Yeah they do."

I turned from the pair and placed a hand on Booth's arm. "Should you call Hannah and ask her to join us? She enjoys drinking alcohol very much."

He leaned back, still watching Cam. "Nah, she's working late."

He glanced at me than attracted the attention of the bartender. "Hey, can I get the usual over here?"

Once the man signaled that he got Booth's order, he turned back towards me. "So, this case proves that two's company."

I sighed grudgingly then smiled. "You were right. The Samuel wives only appeared to be happy with their arrangement."

"Right, the one guy who was happy, ended up dead."

"Do you think Ed Samuel loved all of his wives equally?" I asked, genuinely curious.

Booth responded without hesitation. "No. He loved the first one the most."

I furrowed my brow. "How do you know?"

"The schedule." He said, meeting my gaze.

"But, each week each wife was assigned two nights a piece. And he spent Sunday night alone."

"Well he was _supposed_ to spend Sunday alone."

I nodded at the realization. "He didn't?"

"He went back to the first one."

I smiled. "Wha- he did?"

"Every Sunday. That's what they said."

I had understood at first, but now I wasn't sure. "What does that mean?"

He inhaled deeply. "Well it means Bones that you can love a lot of people in this world, but there's only one person that you love the most."

He stared at me intently. My stomach grew warm with nervousness. "Well how do know which person you love the most when you're confused by chemical messages traveling throughout your limbic system?"

My heart rate increased, I truly did believe that love was caused by chemical messages, but I also knew who it was whom I loved the most. I just refused to let myself acknowledge that attraction.

Booth met my gaze, his face so intense I couldn't tear my eyes away. "You just do."

I made eye contact with him. Even as my face grew slightly flushed, my pulse accelerated, and my stomach fluttered, I met his gaze. I couldn't tell if he knew. Could he know? He was better at reading people, and myself especially, than anyone I had ever met. He could tell me my deepest fears, things I wouldn't even let myself realize. So it wasn't illogical to think that he could know that I still loved him, that he was the one who caused the rush of dopamine through my limbic system. Finally, I looked away. I watched Paul lean over to give Cam a kiss, and her pull his face in. They kissed gingerly, but passionately.

I wondered if I would ever feel that way about a person. If I could ever have a relationship with someone who so acutely affected my brain. I turned back to Booth. "What if you let that person get away?" My voice was soft and worried. I regretted the question as soon as I said it. If he hadn't known already, he sure as hell did now. But I leveled my gaze, waiting for his answer.

He shook his head, then lifted his eyes to mine with a smile. "That person's not going anywhere."

My face was expressionless, I stared into his chocolate eyes without visible emotion. But my mind was far from blank. I had let him get away. He had offered himself to me, and I had denied him. Why? Because I was afraid to let myself go. I was afraid to allow my happiness to be so dependent on another person. I wasn't ready to open myself so fully to another person. Every time I did, I was hurt. I hadn't been ready, so I denied him. But I still had feelings for him. Could he know? Could he realize how much I regretted letting him escape from my hands? I could have had everything, had him, and I destroyed my one chance. I let that one person get away.

But I pushed these thoughts away, I refused to let my mistakes take over me. I had given up my chance, and he had found someone else. I was not the one he loved anymore. And that was something I had to live with. I could compartmentalize. I always had before.

"We are a good team, all of us." I smiled, and raised my glass. He clinked his against mine with a grin. "The best."

He smiled at me, and for a moment I didn't smile back. That smile pained me every time I saw it. For years I had felt that pain. How long had he known I loved him before that night in front of the Hoover? I had had feelings for him since our first case. And later in our partnership, before even the conclusion of the first year, I realized I loved him. I denied it to him, to Sweets, to Angela, to myself. But it was true. I had loved him for years. I told him once that I was jealous that he believed that love was transient and eternal and that I wished I believed that too. He told me that I would in time. But I didn't believe it then and I still didn't. Things never worked out in my life. I was just one of those people. One of those people who just didn't get love, didn't get a life with another person. I was one of those people who simply didn't get to be in a family.

I lifted my head, and I returned his warm smile.

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O **kay, I have to be honest. I don't know if I will continue writing this. Life is really crazy with work and school and everything. But I'll continue if people are truly enjoying the stories. I love writing, the problem is justifying the time it takes. Review, let me know.**

 **~AlphaGirl13**


	7. The Missing Parts

**Thank you all for the great reviews and encouragement. I will continue to write and update when I can. As a thank you for your responses, I wrote this short chapter based on the flashback episode from season 5. I won't be able to post for a few weeks after this, though I'll continue working on the next chapters as much as I can. When I do post next, it will be two, maybe three scenes/interpretations from the season 6 finale. Obviously, this will take me some time to write and life just got a whole lot busier. I hope you all enjoy this in the meantime**

 **~AlphaGirl13**

 **Disclaimer: Owning Bones is only a dream, not a reality**

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We were sitting in the conference room, informing Jemma's mother about the case.

"It was the Judge." Booth said, taking her hand.

"We found her stapes, a bone from the inner ear, wedged in the locking mechanism of his trunk. He had tripped her, and she fell down the stairs. Thinking she was dead, he got his car and proceeded to put her in the trunk. When she regained consciousness, he panicked and slammed the trunk down on her head, killing her."

As I started to explain the case, I expressed my concern on whether or not we had enough evidence to convict.

"But I don't know if this will be enough to achieve a conviction. He may be aquit-"

Booth cut me off. "This is definitely not the place to bring this up." His voice was hushed and angry.

I was furious. We had barely been working together as it was. He had gotten me drunk to fire me, then rehired me, and we had fought in the parking garage. This man was irritating and irrational. "Booth, I-"

He grabbed my arm, digging his nails into my biceps. Suddenly, I was sixteen again.

" _Temperance. Honey." His voice drawled, thick with alcohol. He entered my room, stumbling and foul smelling. I pressed myself deeper in to the corner of the closet. His footsteps grew louder and as he threw back the door, I screamed. His greasy hand clamped over my mouth and nose, suffocating me. I tried to bit him, but he hit me. His fingers whipped across my face, stinging, and leaving long red marks. I struggled, refusing to let him take me so easily. But he held me, his size was too great an advantage. Gripping my biceps and digging in his fingernails, he viciously pulled me from the closet and threw me on the bed. Blood began to seep from the torn skin on my arm._

" _Happy birthday Temperance. I have a gift for you…" He whipped off his pants, exposing his full naked frame to me. He was rock hard and throbbing. I whimpered and curled into a ball against the headboard. He slid his hands up my thigh, and I bristled, but I did not scream. He smiled cruelly and slid down my pants, then my underwear. Flattening me against the bed, he slid himself into me. The pain astonished me. I tried to gasp, but he covered my mouth with his hand. He thrust in and out, each movement bringing me excruciating pain. But I couldn't resist, I couldn't fight; I was helpless. I closed my eyes; I couldn't watch the blatant abuse of my body. He took something from me. He took something that should have been mine to give to someone whom I loved. But it was stolen, I could never give it to someone else._

 _I felt him collapse on top of me, but my eyes didn't open. He removed his hand and spoke, his voice sickeningly sweet. "Thank you Temperance. I hope I was worth the first experience."_

 _I wrapped my hands around the posts on the headboard and waited for him to leave. The pain had dulled to a constant throbbing, but my mind was broken. My entire body ached and screamed for a release from the torture it had just endured. When I heard my door close and lock from the outside, I rolled onto my side and finally let the tears fall. I sobbed silently, missing my parents and my comfortable life. I missed being innocent and not losing my virginity to a middle aged alcoholic on my 16_ _th_ _birthday._

 _When I was able to stop the tears, I wondered if he would come back. If I would have to face such torture the next night. And I did. Every night after my birthday, I hid in the closet. And every night after my birthday, he found me, grabbed my upper arm, and threw me on the bed. He made me call him "The Judge" and "Daddy." He said I was a bad girl, who needed to be punished. I developed scars from his dirty fingernails, and I began to bleed unnaturally from the brutal assault on my body._

 _And every night, after he left, I convinced myself that it didn't happen. I promised my wounded body that I would give that gift to someone when I was ready. Someone I knew would give me a good experience, someone I knew wouldn't hurt me. I vowed to myself, that no matter how many times he raped me, I would still be a virgin._

Booths fingernails dug into the exact placement of my fading scars. I felt irrational fear rise in my throat. He dragged me out of the room, and I panicked.

"Let go of me!" I spat out the words through clenched teeth. I no longer saw Booth, all I saw was the giant man who had violated me all those years ago.

"I will if you-" I struck him, like the rapist had done me. My fear and panic translated into anger, and I freed myself from his grasp.

"Oh! What the hell?" he looked at me, anger and power evident in his eyes.

But when I looked into those eyes, I no longer saw a warm, chocolate brown. I saw the cruel, black eyes of my foster father.

"You are a bully! You grab my arm just like The Judge, you use your badge and your gun to intimidate people." I noticed my slip, but Booth had no knowledge of my past. He thought nothing of my wording.

"Really, like you use your big brain to make people around you feel stupid?" He leaned in, getting much too close to me.

I thrust my hand against his chest. "Well you are a stupid man! I hate you!" I couldn't see Booth, all I saw was my rapist. The man who ruined my childhood.

"Oh, you hate me?" he asked, mockingly. "What are you? 10 years old? I'm not our dad!" He scowled at me, furious and oblivious to the cause of my outburst. But I couldn't rein myself in anymore. I only saw red. He wasn't my dad. He had raped me. He wasn't my dad.

"I will never work with you again!" I fled the office, unable to think, unable to rationalize my actions. I just ran. I dimly heard him respond to my comment, but I only looked back once before escaping the building. I ran blindly to my car, locking myself inside. I braced my hands against the steering wheel, my arms locked and tight.

I let myself cry, something I hadn't done in years. I had pushed away those painful memories, telling myself they weren't conducive to living a life free of past burdens. But I finally let myself feel the full reality of what happened to me during those weeks.

" _What are you? 10 years old?"_ No, I thought bitterly. I was 16. The tears fell, and I didn't wipe them away.


	8. The Change in My Game Pt 1

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long, but here's two chapters to make up for it. This is the final episode of season six. I am thinking of writing another, separate story, of the time in between season six and seven. Tell me what you guys think, review!**

 **~AlphaGirl13**

 **Disclaimer: Like I've said: I don't own Bones**

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It was late, well past midnight. But I sat on my bathroom floor without moving. Five minutes. In five minutes I would receive an answer that had the potential to completely change my life. But I didn't have all the facts, so I just sat and waited. My heart rate was regular; I was passive and unfeeling. I would not be excited, scared, or disappointed until I had all the facts. I checked my watch: two minutes left. Bracing my hand against the wall, I pushed myself to standing and leaned against the sink. I grabbed a wipe and began to remove my makeup, rubbing slow circles over my eyes.

My watch beeped and my hand slowly lowered to rest against the edge of the sink. I stared at my reflection, looking at the softening features around my eyes, the crisp blueness of my irises. My auburn hair fell simply around my shoulders; my bangs framed my face, making it appear smaller. I took a deep, shaky breath and looked away.

I picked up the little plastic stick and sat down on the toilet. Two pink lines glared up at me. My body metaphorically deflated. My shoulders slumped, my elbows rested heavily on my knees, and my hands were crossed and limp. My fingers curled weakly around the stick as I hung my head. I was pregnant.

I slid myself off the toilet and sat on the floor again. Hugging my thighs to my chest, I buried my face in my knees. My whole world was turned upside down. I never wanted kids; I couldn't be a mother. Would I keep the fetus? Would I tell the father? Would I runaway? Would I raise the child alone? After my childhood, would I be able to love it? My fears swarmed through my head and I felt a lump form in my throat.

I let the tears fall until my body shook with exhaustion. As my eyelids drooped, I made a decision. Yes, I had never wanted children. Yes, my childhood had ended traumatically. Yes, I was hurt and had feelings for a man I couldn't have. But the baby could be my chance at a new start. I had been going through rejection and pain, but maybe this child could be my escape. With this thought, I let my body drift into sleep.

I was awoken sharply by an obnoxious ringing. I sat up, groaning and wondering why I was on the floor of the bathroom. Before I could asses my situation, my phone rang again.

"Brennan." My voice was still saturated with sleep.

"Bones! Did you just wake up? It's after noon!" Booth's voice rang accusingly through the phone.

I lifted my wrist to look at my watch and my eyes landed on the little white stick in my hand. The entirety of the previous night flashed through my mind. A sharp gasp escaped my lips.

"Yeah, exactly. Did you have a late night?" Booth asked, not truly knowing the cause of my gasp.

I composed myself before speaking. "Uh, yeah. I stayed up late working on paperwork for the Broadsky cases."

"Hey I thought we agreed that I would help you with that!" Booth admonished me. "Anyway, get up sleepy head. We've got a case! I'll be at your place in an hour."

I only mumbled a response before ending the call. Lifting myself from the floor, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I looked nothing like I had the night before. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy, my hair was a tangled mess, and my body was hunched over in exhaustion. I turned away, stripped, and turned the shower on full blast.

After washing my hair, I stood under the water and found myself rubbing slow circle over my uterus. I would keep the child, but I wasn't ready to be a mother. The fetus was a result of a cheap night with Booth. An experience neither of us had mentioned. A sexual encounter born out of pain and poor timing. How would he react to the pregnancy? He was a good man; he would support me and the child. But, would he want to? Tears welled in my eyes but I blinked them away. I shook the thoughts of rejection from my mind and got ready for a crime scene.

Booth knocked on my door, and when I answered, my face was clear and my smile was genuine. I could compartmentalize.

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 **Let me know what you guys think of another story and these two chapters. I love reviews, as every writer does.**

 **~AlphaGirl13**


	9. The Change in My Game Pt 2

**This is a long one, but there was too much potential in this episode to do an average length chapter. I hope you all like it! Let me know what you think about a story about the pregnancy from Brennan's point of view.**

 **~AlphaGirl13**

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Angela's scream echoed through the hallways and could faintly be heard in the waiting room. I shifted nervously in the chair; the noise seemed only to bother me. Her pain was clear, and I knew such physical exertion was in my near future. Clutching the stuffed bunny over my abdomen, I sat in silence.

I still hadn't told Booth. When I had brought up a child at the bowling alley, he had immediately dismissed me. He had seemed agitated and my fears pf the future had been renewed. I hugged the stuffed rabbit over my womb, over the growing fetus. I was going to be a mother. My heart rate elevated at the thought. I was financially secure and in a steady job, yet I didn't feel ready to be a mother. I took a deep breath and tried to steady my racing heart.

Hodgins opened the door to the waiting room, holding a little blue bundle. He beamed proudly.

"Everybody, I would like you to meet my son, Michael Staccato Vincent Hodgins."

I stood and walked over to my friend. The little boy stared up at me, and I grinned in response. I glanced over at Booth, who smiled at me, then at the boy. I turned away from the group and left the waiting room. My place was with my friend, and I had some important news to tell her.

I opened the door and saw Angela sitting on the hospital bed. She looked absolutely exhausted. A huge grin spread across her face when she saw me.

"Hi." Her voice was breathless but happy.

I returned her smile. "Hi." Walking up to her bed, my curiosity peaked. "What was it like?"

Her smile was tired, but true. "It was wonderful. And beautiful. It was a dream. "I smiled and handed her the stuffed bunny. She chuckled softly.

"Look at this guy."

"It's from Booth too." I said quietly.

"Thank you." She said, meeting my gaze.

I smiled at her, but I couldn't hold it. Ange had just had a baby. She was now a mother, in charge of another human being. Her whole life had changed. I felt my face fall; my smile disappeared. Angela noticed my demeanor reached out to hold my hand.

"Hey. Sweetie." I lifted my eyes to meet her stare. "What's wrong?" She was concerned.

I felt tears form in the corners of my eyes. I swallowed past a lump in my throat. Ange reached up and wiped a falling tear from my cheek. She pulled me onto the bed until I was next to her, wrapped in her arms.

I pushed away. "No. Ange this is your day." I said, my voice breaking slightly. I wiped a tear from my eye and tried to stand up, but she pulled me back onto the bed. Handing me a tissue, Angela wrapped me in a hug. I let my body go limp and allowed her to hold me.

"Brennan. What's wrong? You don't ever cry without a good reason." She held me at arm's length, her brown eyes searching mine. I smiled at her through my tears.

"Ange." She wiped a tear away with her thumb. "Temperance."

"Ange." I could barely choke out her name. "Ange. I'm pregnant."

I hung my head; it was the first time I had said it aloud. I felt her hands release me. I looked up to find her holding her hands over her mouth. Her eyes were shining and she was stifling a squeal. She pulled me in close and hugged me tight.

"Sweetie! Why are you crying? This is wonderful news!"

I pulled out of the hug to look her in the eye. "Ange. It's not the right time." I hesitated slightly. "It's not the right guy."

Her eyes flicked back and forth between mine. "Brennan. Who is the father?"

I took a deep, uncertain breath. "Booth."

I winced as Angela's ear-shattering scream penetrated the quiet. She immediately clamped her hand over her mouth, but it was too late. Hodgins, a nurse, and Booth burst through the door.

"Angela! Are you alright? What's wrong?" Hodgins was frantic. His wife only smiled widely.

"I'm fine jack, Brennan just told me some great news!" I glared at my friend, warning her not to say anymore. Booth looked at me questioningly. I forced a smile.

"I just told her that we solved the case; it wasn't the little girl."

Hodgins squinted skeptically at his wife. "That made you scream?"

Angela looked absolutely crestfallen. "It's these damn hormones. I have no control over my emotions!" she threw herself into my arms and sobbed heavily. Booth looked uncomfortably at Hodgins and both men quickly left the room.

Ange pulled herself from my arms and stared at me intently. "What do you mean 'it's the wrong guy'?"

I sighed and looked down; I had hoped she wouldn't ask. "He offered Ange. He tried to give us a chance and I denied him. Then I told him how I felt and he said no."

Ange lifted my chin so our eyes met. "Sweetie. He loves you. He is head over heels in love with you."

I opened my mouth to argue, but she cut me off. "No. Do NOT argue with me. You deny everything but you know as well as I do that you have loved him since the last time that you told him not to call you Bones."

How could she know that? I felt the heat rise in my cheeks. I knew the color of my face was growing increasingly pink. Ange reached out and held my hand.

"He is going to be overjoyed. Tell him Brennan. He is going to be ecstatic."

I didn't respond, only stared into my friend's sharp brown eyes.

"Don't be afraid Brennan. He loves you. And you love him."

Booth chose that moment to walk through the door. I spun around, my face still pink. He looked at me quizzically, but I didn't make eye contact. As he walked towards the bed, I stepped away. Angela grinned and hugged him tightly.

"Congratulations Angela!" He smiled at her.

I opened the door and stepped out, but a voice stopped me.

"Bones! Wait, I'll walk you home." Booth called out behind me.

I turned, accidentally making eye contact with Angela, sitting behind Booth. She winked and mouthed something to me 'Tell him.' I nodded slightly and turned to leave with Booth. We were silent as we walked out of the hospital. My heart rate was accelerated, and I struggled to keep my breathing even.

Every so often, I looked at my partner in my peripheral. I couldn't tell if he noticed my distress, but if he did, he didn't show it. The silence between us was tense; I tried to think of ways to start a conversation. I was rationalizing and I knew it. I took a deep breath. I would have to tell him sometime, and it might as well be now.

"They looked so happy." I said quietly.

Booth hesitated, then realized what I meant. "Well yeah. They had a baby."

Would I be that happy? I spoke quietly, voicing my fears. "But their whole lives have changed, you'd think they'd me a little more apprehensive." Could he tell that those were my fears? No he didn't know. He couldn't know.

Booth looked at me, confused. "Yeah well they had a baby. Having a baby- it's a good thing."

Did he-? Would he be happy with what I had to tell him? Would he want to be with me?

"You- You really think that?" My voice stuttered and shook uncertainly.

"Yeah it's a great thing. Why? What?" He looked at me questioningly. I stopped walking and stared at him. Would he be happy like Angela claimed? He saw the confusion on my face.

"Oh, come on Bones. Look, the baby…the baby's fine. It's healthy, they had a healthy baby. Alright? They love each other, this is the happiest day of their lives. Okay?" He turned to walk away, but I just stood there.

I knew I was staring, but I couldn't move. Would it be the happiest day of OUR lives? Would this child be a good thing? I loved him, I had made that clear. And I had loved him for years. But he said he needed time. What if this child was too much, too fast? It had to be. He wasn't even ready for a relationship. He would support me and the baby, but would he want to? Would he want ME? I shifted uncomfortably, trying to find the courage to tell him.

I inhaled slightly, then spoke, still unsure of my words. "I'm p-" I stopped, my nervousness showing through. I chuckled to cover myself. "I'm pregnant."

His face was stone still. He looked completely passive. My heart increased. Did he perhaps think it was someone else's child?

I spoke without thinking, trying to dissipate his doubts "You're the father."

I stopped talking. He was still showing no emotion. Was I wrong to tell him? He wasn't happy. I should've run away and raised the child on my own. I felt the heat of embarrassment rise in my cheeks. But then, his lips pulled into a small smile. It slowly grew until he was grinning at me. He was happy. He was in shock, but he was happy. My own lips formed a smile, and I laughed slightly.

He stepped forward and placed his hand on my belly, over my womb. I looked down and smiled. He wrapped his other arm around my waist; I put my hands on his shoulders and pulled him in. My lips met his, soft and gentle. Both of his hands embraced my waist, and he returned the kiss.

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 **Whew! I finally got these two chapters to you guys! As always, I love reviews. Let me know your opinions about another story, and of course, these two chapters.**

 **~AlphaGirl13**


	10. Unless First a Dream

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been working on my other story, Letter to Booth. Anyway, this is the finale of The Parts in the Sum of the Whole. This is an incredibly emotionally dense scene and it can be interpreted many ways. I hope you all enjoy my take on Brennan's thoughts. And the title of this chapter...well let's see if you guys can figure out where the title comes from.**

 **~AlphGirl13**

 **Disclaimer: I still don't own Bones**

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His arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me into a kiss. Our lips touched, and I let his warmth wash over me. His mouth was soft, gentle. I allowed all my fears to drift away, if just for a moment. I loved him. God I loved him. His hands wrapped protectively around my back, holding me close. I held his shoulders, kissing him back, trying to tell him how long I'd wanted this.

But the moment was gone as quickly as it started. I couldn't be in a relationship with him. We had tried, we had failed. His feelings for me were a side effect of the brain tumor. They would fade, and he would be left having to hurt me, having to break me. He would torture himself. And I wasn't the kind of woman that he deserved. He should have a woman who would love him unconditionally, who would attend church with him, share her every thought and feeling with him. He deserved a woman who was the exact opposite of myself. I was incapable of letting others beyond my walls, and I would only cause him pain. I would hurt him.

I placed my hands against his chest, and forced myself to break the kiss. "No! No!"

Hitting him lightly in the chest, I couldn't meet his eyes. I couldn't look at him. He was all I'd wanted for five years. I couldn't look into his soft brown eyes, I would lose my resolve. I had to have the strength to push him away. I had to hurt myself to protect him. But it was something I had done many times before. Tears were forming in the corners of my eyes as he spoke.

"Why? Why?!" his voice was panicked and pained.

I was hurting him now, but if we started a relationship, I would hurt him much more. Like I did to everyone else. It always came back to me.

"You thought you were protecting me" I looked up, into his teary, blood-shot eyes. "But you're the one who needs protecting." I immediately looked back down. I was making him cry. He never cried.

"Protecting from what?!" his voice cracked, heavy with emotion. He was desperate and in pain.

"From me!" A lump was forming in my throat, it was getting increasingly difficult to talk. He was all I'd wanted. For so damn long. But I couldn't have him, for his sake, I could never be with the man I felt such strong feelings for.

I swallowed heavily. "I- I don't have your kind of open heart!" My voice broke, the tears threatened to spill over, and my chest clenched painfully.

"Just give it a chance" His eyes were shining with unshed tears. "That's all I'm asking!"

"No!" I fought against the tears. "You said it yourself, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome!"

"Well let's go for a different outcome here!" His face was desperate and scared. "Alright? Just hear me out alright? You know when you talk to older couples who have been in love for thirty or fourth or fifty years, it's always the guy who says 'I knew'!"

My eyes burned with the effort not to cry. He wanted me to say yes so badly. But I just couldn't. I couldn't make him go through being in a relationship with me. I alienated people, I didn't get a happy life, I didn't get a family, and I didn't get a relationship with the man I…with the man I loved.

He's hesitated, then continued talking. "I knew! Right from the beginning."

God. I wanted nothing more than to say yes. But I couldn't hurt him. It was so much easier to hurt myself than to hurt him.

"Your evidence is anecdotal."

"I'm that guy. Bones, I'm that guy! I know!"

I shook my head, disoriented and confused. Too many emotions were cluttering my brain, I couldn't process them all. My heart rate was extremely elevated, my breathing was shallow and labored, and my voice was broken by the effort not to cry. I struggled to get my body under control.

"I am not a gambler! I am a scientist. I can't change. I don't know how!" I hesitated, confused, distraught, and in pain. When I spoke again, my voice was soft and weak. "I don't know how."

His face fell in complete and utter despair. I finally let the tears fall from my eyes; they rolled down my cheek, uninterrupted. He took a step back, trying to distance himself from me. He had offered himself to me, and I had turned him down. A single tear rolled down his cheek. God, I had hurt him more than I thought I would. I couldn't stand to see him in pain.

"Please don't look so sad!" Now I was desperate, trying to get back some of the carefree, goofy partner that I missed. I wanted him to smile his special smile at me, the one that caused my chest to constrict and my breathing to quicken. I just wanted things to be normal. I could hide my pain if I wasn't forced to display it for all to see.

He staggered back and leaned against the cement rail. He sighed heavily and hung his head. I walked over and stood next to him.

"You're right. You're right." His normally warm eyes were obscured by tears.

"Can we still work together?" My voice was hopeful, but he didn't respond.

I shifted uncomfortably. I couldn't not see him. I…I loved him too much to not see him every day. It caused me so much pain, but it was less pain than if I never saw him. I had to know him in some way, even though I could never know him the way I wanted. I had to keep working with him, I had no idea what I would do if I didn't see him regularly. I loved him, even though it was completely irrational, I loved him.

He looked away and nodded slightly. "Yeah." He said, grudgingly.

I couldn't look at him anymore. I was causing him all this pain.

"Thank you."

"But I gotta move on."

I was silent. I had nothing to say to him. I loved him, I wanted to be with him, but I never could. And I never would. I felt fresh tears cascade down my face and I wiped them away sadly. I would have to watch him love another woman because I couldn't give him what he needed. I was not a lover, I could only be a…a partner.

"You know, I gotta find someone who's- who's gonna love me in thirty years. Or forty, or fifty."

God. I would love him in decades. I would never stop loving him. There would always be some residual feeling tucked far back inside my head. He would never leave my heart. But I had to let him go.

"I know." My voice was high, changed by the impending sobs. I choked back the tears and stood up. I couldn't sit here, I couldn't let him see me at my most vulnerable. We walked away, back towards his car. I wrapped my arm through his, and let my head rest on his shoulder, enjoying the last moments of his touch. I soaked in his warmth, and memorized his smell. I would never have this, so I cherished the few moments that he let me lean my entire weight on him. For just a minute, I allowed myself to share the weight of the world.

Once we reached his car, I let go of his arm. He walked around to the driver's seat and beckoned for me to get in.

"Come on Bones, I'll drive you home."

I smiled tightly. I couldn't be in the car with him. I was going to cry, soon, and I refused to let him see that.

"No. I'll get a cab."

"Bones-"

"No. I'll get a cab." I turned and walked away. He didn't follow me; he had seen the pain in my eyes and knew I needed to handle it my way.

Once he pulled out, I took out my phone and called Angela.

"Booth." I only said one word. But my voice was cracked and uneven. She knew something was wrong. I hung up and sat down, hanging my head between my knees. His name used to cause me joy. I used to smile internally whenever I thought it. But now, it was painful to think of him. His name felt like a dagger inside my mouth. He wasn't Seeley Booth. He was a him. A he. Just another pronoun. He was my partner…just my partner.

Ange came, picked me up, and drove me home. I was silent for the entire ride, just staring out the window, fighting back the tears. She helped me inside, dressed me in shorts and a t-shirt, and then sat down with me on the bed. She opened her arms, and I fell into them. My entire body shook with uncharacteristic sobs. Tears poured down my face, and I gasped for breath.

Ange didn't say a word. She just rubbed circles over my back and ran her hand through my hair. She didn't ask what happened, she knew I would tell her when I could form coherent words. My best friend just comforted me, and let me cry. She held me until I fell asleep, and she was still there in the morning.

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoy! As always, I welcome reviews. Request any scenes you guys would like me to write**

 **~AlphaGirl13**


	11. Telephone

**Hey guys! I know it's been forever since I updated, and I'm so sorry! I only write these chapters when I'm really inspired by a scene from the show, and unfortunately, another show has sucked me in. I haven't been watching Bones lately, but here's another chapter for you guys. This is the ending scene from season 6 episode 3, The Maggots in the Meathead.**

 **~AG13**

* * *

Angela and Cam walked out the door, leaving just Booth, Hannah, and me sitting in the living room. I set my wine glass down with some hesitation, waiting for someone to speak.

Booth grinned at Hannah. "Kay. Welcome home."

Slowly his eyes flicked to the telephone sitting on the table and he raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"What's that?"

Hannah stood quickly. "Oh. It's a housewarming gift. A Bakelite, original."

I watched his face anxiously, hoping he would appreciate the gesture. Hannah spoke confidently, not worried at all.

"Do you like it?"

He picked up the phone timidly and held it to his ear. He heard the ringing and a grin spread from ear to ear. He loved it. He was truly happy.

"Hey! It's a real one!"

I had made him happy. Hannah spoke, but I didn't hear her words. I just watched my partner's face "glow" with delight. All I ever wanted to do in life was make him happy, and now he was overjoyed with the gift. He was so handsome when he was happy; so full of life. I felt warmth spread across my body, and my heart rate quickened with excitement.

"Thanks…" He said softly, leaning towards Hannah.

"You're welcome." I replied, smiling. But as quickly as the feeling had come on, it vanished. He wasn't happy because of me, and he wasn't leaning in to kiss me. He was kissing someone else; he was thanking someone else. I hadn't made him happy, Hannah had. I could never make him happy.

I turned away and stared at the ground. My throat burned and I felt my smile disappear. I had turned him down for that very reason; I wasn't, and would never be, what Booth needed to be happy. I could never love him the way Hannah could. I could never love him the way he could love me. He wasn't mine. As much as I wanted him to be, he wasn't. I had to protect him. I could never be what he needed, and I knew that.

I bit my lip and stood quickly. I had to leave, I couldn't stay in his apartment any longer.

"See you tomorrow."

They turned and Hannah swiftly protested. "Oh no! Stay! Do you want to join us for dinner?"

"Yeah I can make my famous Mac and Cheese!" Booth chimed in.

Too many emotions were clouding my judgment. Too many thoughts that I couldn't understand crowded my head. So I turned to my fool proof philosophy: logic.

"No. Traditionally when two people share a domicile for the first time, the person who doesn't, leaves."

I shifted uncomfortably, trying to hide my pain from Booth. Those were feelings I couldn't understand, and I couldn't hold myself in control for much longer.

"See you tomorrow."

I turned to leave as Hannah called out behind me "Thanks for your help!"

I smiled tightly then walked down the short hallway, allowing my smile to fall. I didn't want to help her. I wanted that gift to come from me; I wanted Booth to look at me the way he looked at Hannah. I headed for the door, but a quiet voice stopped me.

"Hey Bones."

I turned, and Booth looked me in the eye. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I smiled slightly, the expression tight and forced. "Yes. Tomorrow."

All I wanted was to spend the night with him. There was nothing in the world I wanted more than to be with him. But I couldn't. For his sake, I never could. Turning away, I fought against the tears slowly forming in my eyes. Taking one last look at my partner over my shoulder, I shut the apartment door. And for just a moment, I slumped against the outside. I leaned my weight on the heavy wood door and closed my eyes wearily. I was tired. So tired. I was tired of fighting my confusing emotions, tired of hiding from everyone including Booth. I could already tell that something had changed. Before Hannah, he would have never let me leave his apartment in the state I did. He didn't notice me nearly as much, as a partner or as a friend. When he looked at me, it felt like he was looking through me. It made no logical sense, but he never seemed to really see me anymore.

Angrily, I wiped away a solitary tear rolling down my cheek and walked briskly away. He wasn't mine, and I just had to accept that. I wasn't the one making him happy, but he was happy. I would do anything for Booth, and all I wanted was for him to be happy. He could never be so with me, and that was a sacrifice I was willing to make for him. But every sacrifice requires pain, and I was just paying my dues.

Climbing into my car, I covered my face with my hands and shook. My entire body quivered as I fought my own body. Taking deep breaths, I tried to fight the tears, but a few slipped past my defenses. I released my face and gripped the steering wheel, forcibly calming myself. I couldn't cry. This was a pain I was used to feeling. And the other emotions, they were just too complicated to address. I just pushed them away, refused to think about them. They weren't logical, and they couldn't be easily explained.

I wiped my eyes furiously and pulled into traffic. I drove with one destination in mind. I didn't need sleep. Sleep only brought nightmares: the confrontation of the emotions I tried so hard to suppress. I only needed my work. I could handle anything if I wasn't forced to lay it all for everyone to see. I drove to the Jeffersonian, and I walked slowly to Limbo. Pulling a drawer from the cases, I laid out the skeleton and lost myself in my task. No one was going to fly down and save me. No one was going to show up and comfort me. Booth had Hannah, and he hardly recognized me anymore. No. I was better off alone. I was always better alone. When you're alone, no one can leave you. No one can betray you. And no one can hurt you.

* * *

 **I hope you all liked the chapter! Again, I'm sorry it's been so long. As always, please review and request any scenes you would like me to write from Brennan's POV**

 **~AG13**


	12. What Is This Feeling?

**Hey guys! For this chapter, I had the amazing opportunity to team up with another Bones Fanfic writer, 5546Laura. Check out her page and support her writing!** **She wrote this scene from Booth's point of view, and I wrote from Brennan's.**

 **~AG13**

* * *

 **Brennan**

I stood off to the side, avoiding the crowds of people gathered in the auditorium. Every now and then, I smiled politely at another scientist and nodded my recognition. I retreated slowly until I was standing in front of the doors to the exhibit. Running my hand over the elegant door handle, I tried desperately to calm my nerves. My heart beat quickly, a reaction to the adrenaline flowing through my blood. I felt an uncomfortable heat in my stomach and my hand shook slightly on the door handle. I hated speaking at events. Lecturing was no problem; I loved educating young and eager students. But a room full of professionals was another story altogether. They were knowledgeable people; people who would be judging every word I said. I gripped the handle tightly and shut my eyes, trying to chase away the anxious thoughts.

Suddenly, a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I stiffened nervously, but a low voice set my body at ease.

""Hiya, Bones."

I turned from the doors and smiled slightly at my partner.

"What are you doing out here? The party's about to start. Don't you need to be in with all the guests?" He asked as his eyes roamed over my face. I knew he was searching for an answer, but as I glanced towards the auditorium doors, my palms grew slightly damp. I had hated the interview for my doctorate; I had hated the interview for my position at the Jeffersonian; and I had hated every research proposal I had ever done.

And every time, I was scared. The feeling was illogical, but I was terrified. I hated being judged, I hated feeling unwanted or unappreciated. And that night was no exception. So instead of facing the professionals in the next room, I did something very childish: I grabbed Booth's hand and pulled him through the exhibit doors.

"I want to show you the exhibit since you were involved in the recovery of the ruby. Come on…"

He followed me quietly, trying not to alert the others to what we were doing. But as soon as we were out of earshot, he turned to me, slightly panicked.

"Bones! We're not supposed to be down here yet!" He whispered.

I chuckled. He was always a rule follower.

"You're with me Booth. This is my find, you're not going to get into trouble."

He walked forward, mesmerized by the ornate displays. Only at the last second did I notice the extravagant gold emblem on the floor.

"Don't! Don't step on that!"

"Why?!"

But as soon as he asked the question, he moved on.

"God this is so cool!"

We walked towards the glass cases, separated by the center display.

"So" Booth asked. "He wasn't trampled by his brother?"

I was still nervous, but the science of a find was always something I could fall back on. I could focus on the facts; they were something I could prove, something I knew conclusively.

"No." I pointed at the linen wrapped mummy. "Meti suffered from Osteogenesis Imperfecta."

Booth leaned down to look at the ruby, and I copied his gesture, trying to maintain his attention. He smiled at me through the glass, and I felt my temperature rise. He had an effect on me that I couldn't for the life of me describe. His eyes reflected the light from the ruby and seemed to sparkle. I immediately returned the warm smile, enjoying his company no matter how it made me feel.

"Otherwise known as brittle bone disease. Meti's fall from his horse killed him. Anok was innocent; his mother was right."

I slowly felt myself relaxing. It was amazing how just a few minutes with him could so drastically change my mood. We hadn't even talked about the speech, and yet he had calmed me in ways I could never describe.

"So it only took 3000 years for someone to hear her." Booth said softly.

I smiled at him; he always found the oddest aspect about a case to latch onto and take wisdom from.

Returning my smile with his confident, goofy grin, he spoke sincerely.

"You know, I'll tell you what, if I was Egypt, I'd throw you a party too."

I chuckled slightly, appreciating his kind words. But my mind immediately returned to the problem waiting upstairs. Just because I was avoiding it, didn't mean it had gone away. The hot feeling in my stomach returned, and my heart rate increased. I shut my eyes and drew in and let out a long slow breath, willing my heart to slow.

"I have to speak."

Finally meeting my partner's gaze, I voiced the fear I had never revealed to anyone.

"I hate these things."

I adjusted my position nervously and my eyes dropped to stare at the floor. I was supposed to be this confident, fiery person who stood up to anyone or anything in her way. What would he think of the fears behind the facade?

"What're you talking about Bones?"

He took a step forward, offering me his charm smile.

"You're great at these things. Listen, you changed _history_. How many people can say that?"

"You can!" I protested, smiling. "Every arrest you make changes history."

I stepped in, closing the gap between us. "You make the world safer." _You make me safer_ I thought silently.

"With your help." He clarified.

We were close enough now for his aftershave to fog my mind. Just being in his presence made my knees weak and my heart pound. I hated that I had no control over my own body, but I stepped closer anyway.

"So. Andrew. I thought you were going to this thing. That's what he told me." Booth moved in just a little closer.

My eyes widened as I contemplated the best way to handle the situation. I had canceled with Andrew because I didn't want him to watch me speak. I didn't want him to see me nervous or shaken. I didn't want him to comfort me. I didn't want him to be a part of what Booth and I already had.

"I was, yes. But…" I took a shallow breath. We were near enough to feel the other's body heat. I shook my head slightly and continued.

"...You and I. This was our case. And I guess…"

He stepped in until we were close enough to see every detail on each other's face. His eyes shone brightly in the low lightning of the museum. They were the color of melted chocolate, and I felt lost in their depths. It was ridiculous, but I felt my heartbeat speed up and the feeling in my stomach returned. But this time, it wasn't nervousness, it was anticipation. I didn't know what was going to happen; I didn't know what I _wanted_ to happen.

"...what goes on between us, that should just be ours. Isn't that what you said?" My voice trailed off into an almost whisper as my eyes traced every detail of his face.

"Yeah." He murmured, hardly loud enough to hear.

We were so close. It wouldn't be at all difficult for me to lean in. I could do it. The feeling in my stomach disappeared as I moved even closer. I was unsure of my actions, but in that moment, my heart was steady and my body was calm. Booth tipped his head towards mine and for a moment I thought…

But laughing on the stairwell interrupted us.

"Come on you two! The ambassador is about to speak." Angela called from the banister.

Booth turned back to me, and the moment was gone. Whatever we were going to say, whatever we were going to do, the chance was gone. I reached out to adjust his crooked bowtie, glancing at his eyes awkwardly.

"Thanks." He smiled and reached to tuck a lock of hair behind my shoulder. His hand grazed my collarbone and I felt a tremor travel up my back.

We turned and walked away, back towards the hundreds of people waiting for a speech. But for the first time that night, I wasn't nervous. I wasn't imagining every possible negative outcome. Instead, my head was filled with thoughts of Booth, and how close we were. How close we came to…

I climbed the stairs briskly, shaking the idea from my head. If I couldn't focus on my speech, I'd make a fool of myself. But Booth glanced at me and smiled widely, making my steps falter for half a second. He trusted that I could do it. He thought that I could successfully do my speech. And if he had trust in my abilities, then how could I possibly fail?

I returned the smile and entered the auditorium with my chin held high.

* * *

 **The following was written by 5546Laura**

 **Booth**

I'm swearing at my reflection in the mirror as I try to fix this goddamn bow tie. See, this is why I hate tuxedos...you gotta wear a stupid bow tie. And with this one, no matter how I try to adjust it, it feels like it's crooked...but, then I realize the tie isn't the real problem. The real problem is that I'm going to see the new Meti exhibit without Bones, because she's bringing Hacker. God, I hate to think about that idiot with Bones, but this time it's my own damn fault. He straight up asked me if there was anything between me and Bones, and being a coward, I said no, even though my insides were screaming yes. So Hacker is going with Bones tonight, and I'm gonna be a pathetic solo act this evening. But I gotta be there to support her, because she's my Bones.

I walked into the Egyptian wing of the museum, following a whole crowd of people as we enter the ballroom. Who knew so many people would be interested in some 3000 year old Egyptian prince? Everybody's milling around, trying to figure out where to stand or sit...and then I see her. There's Bones, standing by herself in front of a large set of double doors. God, she looks gorgeous...I mean she's always beautiful, but tonight...tonight she's just perfect. I guess that jackass Hacker didn't even have the common courtesy to wait with her...maybe he's parking the car, because he's nowhere to be seen…

"Hiya, Bones. What are you doing out here? The party's about to start. Don't you need to be in with all the guests?"

She seems nervous for some reason, but she gives me a small grin and grabs by hand. "I want to show you the exhibit since you were involved in the recovery of the ruby. Come on…" I follow her quietly, trying not to draw attention to myself. I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to be here yet, since the exhibit hasn't opened, but she says it's okay since it's her discovery. We dodge the big gold emblem on the floor...some sort of alarm, I guess, and she bends down to look at me through that glass box that holds the ruby and smiles at me...and I think I'm gonna melt. That smile...Jesus….it does things to me I can't explain. But then she's nervous all over again as we walk past the mummies.

I can always tell when Bones is nervous because she strings together all these big words. So she's telling me about the bone disease that Meti has, and I'm trying to listen, but I'm distracted by the display, and by the intense look on her face, and by how she looks in that dress. She's telling me that she's gonna get justice for Meti and his mother, even if it takes 3000 years. Yeah, that's my Bones…that's the woman I know and love...

"If I was Egypt, I'd throw you a party, too, Bones….this is so cool…" The look that crosses her face unsettles me a bit. "What's wrong?"

"I have to speak...I hate these things…"

"What are you talking about, Bones? You changed history. How many people get to say that?" I grin as I move closer to her, trying to boost her confidence, and then she absolutely floors me.

"You do, Booth. You change history every time you arrest someone. You make the world safer…" God...she thinks I really can do that? I guess I never thought of it that way. I'm just doing my job, you know? My heart starts to pound a little bit as I move closer to her.

"With your help…" I'm close enough to her now that her perfume is starting to cloud my mind a bit. She is so beautiful, and suddenly I don't give a damn about Egyptian princes or murder cases, or history...until I'm reminded of one big ugly part of my recent history. "So, um...Andrew...I thought you were bringing him to this thing with you tonight...at least that's what he told me…." I'm standing there, waiting for my heart to be broken again…but then she says...

"I was going to, but then I remembered what you said...about what's ours being ours, and this was our case, Booth…wasn't that what you said?"

"Yeah…" I'm so close to Bones now that I can see all the shades of blue in her eyes, and how smooth her skin is, and I can see every detail about how that dress fits, and I can hardly breathe. I can't think about anything except she's so beautiful...and she's looking at me like she wants me to kiss her, and all I can think about as she's talking is how soft her lips look, and how I want to kiss her so much, and I'm just gonna do it...I'm gonna kiss her….

And then we heard all the noise on the stairs. It's Angela, telling us the ambassador is going to speak. That's when I decide that I really hate the ambassador right now...but I look back at Bones, and she gives me this sly little smile and reaches up to fix my tie, and I thank God for crooked tuxedo ties. I need to touch her... it's overwhelming...it's all I can think about, but I'm a little nervous, too...so I reach up and flick her hair off her shoulder, knowing that I'm gonna spend the rest of the evening wishing that the ambassador could have waited a few more minutes before his speech began.

So we turn, and go back up the stairs to the party, so I can be there when Bones changes history again.

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 **I hope you all enjoyed this chapter; as always, I love reviews. 5546Laura will also be posting this under her story _Thoughts on Being a Duck._ Let us know what you thought of this co-authored story. **

**~AG13**


	13. Dancing With the Stars

**Hey everyone! The amazing 5546Laura and I have teamed up again to write two more scenes from Booth and Brennan's points of view. I** **f you haven't already, check out her page and read her stories!**

 **I will post the second chapter sometime later this weekend.**

 **~AG13**

* * *

 **Brennan**

The stars descended from the ceiling, strung up on silver wires. I remembered those flashes of light, their contoured metal surfaces. They had hung up around the school for weeks after senior prom. The senior prom that I spent in the hospital.

I had said no to the offer for a date, but I had still been planning to go. It was an experience that most high school students enjoyed, and I felt the need to observe and analyze why the activity was anticipated so highly. I had wanted to be normal, to blend in with the other students. Maybe if I showed them I could enjoy a dance, they might stop calling me Morticia. Maybe high school could end favorably for me.

But the night before the dance, while trying on my dress, I hadn't heard my foster father calling my name. He came storming up the stairs and grabbed my arm, screaming at me. I tried to escape and he flung me down the steps.

I spent my senior prom in the hospital with several bruised and broken ribs. I had returned to school two weeks later, hiding the ugly bruises under my shirt and disguising the pain from everyone. I never told anyone why I didn't go to prom, but I moved out of that foster home as soon as I graduated.

I looked up at the stars, the shiny surfaces reflecting memories I had long tried to forget. I felt tears gather in the corners of my eyes, but I couldn't look away. I had just wanted to be accepted. And I had thought the dance was the way to do it. I never got to be a normal kid. My later childhood was spent in foster homes and horrible situations. I never got the opportunity to make friends, and bullying was a constant factor in my life. Even as an adult, people judged and alienated me. My high school class reunion was proof of that.

"That is so cool!" Booth exclaimed, grinning up at the silver decorations.

I clapped quietly, unable to look away from the stars. Tears burned in my eyes. High school had not been a pleasant experience for me, and I spent my adult life trying to forget the terrible things my classmates called me and the horrible situations I found myself in. I missed so many opportunities to be a normal kid. The tears threatened to spill over, but I just stood there, paralyzed by my old fears.

"Bones, you're tearing up." His voice reminded me that I wasn't alone. I wasn't a scared 18 year old. But that feeling of isolation really never left. There was always a part of me that felt lonely and scared.

"This was the-" I stuttered and reached towards him. I just wanted a hug. For some irrational reason, I craved contact. I didn't want to be alone anymore. But I pulled my hands back.

"prom I never-got to go to." He had offered himself to me, but I had said no. He deserved more than I could give, and I knew I hurt him. I couldn't expect comfort from him.

But Booth must have seen something in my face because he reached out tentatively, wrapping an arm around my waist. I finally gave in to the pain and wrapped my arms around his neck. Laying my head on his shoulder, I smiled sadly and closed my eyes. He did still care about me. I had hurt him, but he still cared about me. He accepted me, and he was my friend. I wasn't alone anymore.

Booth swayed to the music and I let him lead. There was something deeply comforting about his arms encircling my back and my head resting on his shoulder. I felt safe, and I wished it could always be like that. We could be friends. We could be partners. But I had destroyed our chance at being lovers. How I wished I hadn't hurt him. He loved me the way I was, and he had tried to make that clear. But I thought he deserved so much more. Yet he still stuck by me, even when I refused his offer. I know now how foolish I was; but I had no such wisdom then.

I tilted my head down and buried my face in Booth's shoulder. He was the reason I didn't feel so alone. He made me feel accepted and safe. I only wished I could give him what he had given me: a home.

* * *

 **The following was written by 5546Laura**

 **Booth**

It's a good thing I'm a well trained professional FBI agent.

Bones and I were together, working on our first case together since that goddamn fiasco outside the Hoover. It was hard enough working with her, since I was still kind of unsure about how I felt about the whole thing. I was sad...I was embarrassed...I was anxious to put the whole ugly thing behind me. Of course, I still love her, but I'm a professional. I can put my personal feelings aside, right? Except we have to go undercover as a married couple for her class reunion. Jesus...really?

So we get there, and I have to say...I'm in shock. Here's Bones...a beautiful, super intelligent woman who's a world class scientist and a best selling author, and her classmates don't even appreciate her. She's probably the most famous person who ever graduated from her high school, and they're still calling her Morticia and giving her grief about being weird in high school. Well, I was ready to slap the shit out of some of them, until I remembered back to my high school days…

I'm ashamed to say that when I was in high school, I would've looked the other way if my friends had bullied someone like Bones. I desperately wanted to be one of the cool kids, and I guess I would've done most anything to be cool. It helped that I was an above average athlete, and I guess the girls liked me okay, but I was never quite sure that I fit in, so I went along with the crowd, even when I knew they were doing the wrong thing. I know now that I wouldn't have stepped in to stop someone from teasing Bones...God, what a hypocrite I am…I wonder what Bones would think of me if she knew what a coward I was…

We weren't having much luck figuring out the weapon that was used to kill our victim. We looked at all sorts of things, but nothing was quite right. Finally we decided to go to the dance they were having in the high school gym. Boy, did that take me back...I remembered what happened when I took Sherai Belipini to the junior prom. She was the hottest, coolest girl at school, and I thought she really liked me, but what she really liked was wearing my letterman's jacket to make her old boyfriend jealous...she left the prom with him, and I was left high and dry. I guess that's what happens when you try to be a cool kid. Stuff like that just makes me appreciate Bones even more. No matter what has happened between us, she'd never do something like that to me. That's just one more reason why I love her so much...

I think Bones was having a good time at the party. She was showing me her dance moves, and we were laughing and enjoying ourselves until they started playing that slow song. It made me so nervous, and, naturally, that was the song Bones wanted to dance to. Great, right? And while we're dancing I'm trying to keep from holding her too close...we didn't want to enter into that kind of relationship, remember? The guy in the song is singing about "my power, my pleasure, my pain"...and it just hits me in the gut. How does he know that this is what I'm feeling about Bones?

Finally, crazy old Mr. Buxley takes out this big ass knife and cuts a rope, and all of these silver stars drop from the ceiling.

"That is so cool!", I say, as I look over at Bones, hoping that she's enjoying it as much as I am, but she's getting really emotional. "Bones, you're tearing up!" I can't imagine what's wrong…I thought we were having fun.

She's blinking back tears as she looks up at the stars. "This is the prom I never got to go to…."

I know at least one of the guys in her class asked her to the prom. There must be some story about why she didn't go, but she didn't want to share it with me, and that's okay, because the point is, she wanted to share this prom with me. Even with everything that's happened between us…she still wants me to be there for her. So I pull her close, and we dance cheek to cheek, and we both have the prom we always wanted to have. I can't help it...I feel like that's where she belongs...right next to me forever.

So, yeah, it hurts some to hold her that close when I know she doesn't feel about things the way I do, but she's my friend, and no matter what I'm gonna be there for her. She's never gonna have to be alone again, unless she wants to be. I'll always be there to take her home at the end of the dance.

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 **I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and will take a minute to check out 5546Laura's page. She will also be posting this chapter under her story _Thoughts on Being a Duck._ Please review and let us know what you think of our co-authored approach!**

 **~AG13**


	14. A Price

**I'm sorry! I did not mean for it to be this long until I posted this chapter. But honestly, I completely forgot. Anyway, here it is. For this scene, from The Santa in the Slush, I again worked with the amazing 5546Laura. She eloquently wrote this scene from Booth's perspective. If you haven't yet read her work, go do so now. It's incredible.**

 **Again, sorry this took so long, but I hope you all enjoy.**

 **~AG13**

* * *

He's protesting, trying to talk Caroline out of the kiss. But I can't tear my eyes away from his face. It's going to be awkward, but it's just a kiss. A kiss does not mean anything. A kiss is not an act of love; it's just a kiss. I move in first, knowing he'll never start the act. My hands are on his shoulders and my eyes are closed. But as soon as my lips meet his, my hands immediately grab his collar.

 _Shit._

His lips are warm, soft. And I'm so screwed. This isn't awkward. It's a dream. My heart beats quickly and I feel the heat rise in my face. I tilt my head, but I have to stop myself from opening my mouth. I can't deepen this kiss. No tongue. God, no tongue. I'll never get myself back if I part my lips.

His hand lands on my hip, and my knees go weak. This effect he has on me, it was never supposed to get this far. He's my friend, my partner. I can not be attracted to him.

I lose count at 2 steamboats. I can't think. He's the only thing on my mind. I don't want to pull away. He's so warm. His lips are soft against mine, forgiving, accepting. He licks my lips and I feel a hotness flare in my core. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to turn me on. But God, it's a wonderful feeling. I part my mouth slightly, wanting so badly to deepen the kiss. Suddenly my gum starts to slip. I don't pull away fast enough, and it slides past my lips.

I look down awkwardly, trying to steady my racing heart. This isn't how I told myself it would happen. It should have been short, awkward, and clumsy. I was not supposed to pull away hungry for more.

"Was that enough steamboats?" I cross my arms, trying to calm my nerves. He shouldn't make me feel this way. I can't feel this way. I stare at the ground, unable to look Caroline in the eye.

"Plenty….a whole flotilla…" She says quietly.

Booth shifts from side to side. "I don't know what that means. But um...merry Christmas."

He doesn't make my heart race. No. That's just the endorphins from the kiss. A completely natural product of such close human contact. It was awkward. It had to be.

"It was like…" God what was it like? I try to tell myself it was awkward. But it wasn't. It was pleasurable. It was terrifying. It left me with unanswered questions that I had been avoiding for years. It's still making me confront the attraction that I know I feel so strongly.

""...kissing my brother." I finish. It had to be. It couldn't have been anything else. Surely Booth doesn't feel the heat that I do. He has no idea of the attraction.

"You sure must like your brother." Caroline says, somewhat cynically.

"She does." Booth assures her.

"I do." I nod and bring a hand to my mouth. I can still feel his lips. Mine are still tingling from the contact.

"The trailer's all arranged. You're good to go, Cherie. Merry Christmas." Her smile is forced as she walks out the door.

We stand awkwardly in silence for a moment. I'm searching for the right words to explain what we just did.

"I'm sure she feels really foolish right now."

"Yeah" is the only answer he can give me.

I look at him, trying to work through everything that just happened.

"Well hey I-I Um-I should- I should get back and see if um the forensic guy has got anything yet on Moussa-"

"Thats a good idea. Yeah I've got...stuff...to do...too. The- for- with bones." I can barely form a sentence but I cut him off. I need him out. I can't look at him. God, those lips.

"Alright. I understand. Completely." He rolls the gum to the front of his lips and leaves it there for a moment. And I think I'm going to lose all control over my body.

"Thanks for the- gum…"

I turn away from him and stiffen. He walks out quickly, and I sit tightly at my desk for a moment. When his footsteps fade away, I sit slowly back into the chair.

I'm screwed. I'm totally screwed. I could fight those feelings for him before now. But I don't know anymore. Before the kiss, I could tell myself those feelings could just be attracted friendship. But now I know it's more and I can't pretend. I enjoyed a very intimate connection with him. I won't be able to deny the attraction anymore. And I'm gone. Screwed. Absolutely, totally screwed.

Oooooooooo

I guess I've been a very good boy…

I walked into Bones' office today to tell her about Moussa's check being cashed into crisp fifty dollar bills. I was pretty excited, because I thought we had our guy, but she wasn't even listening to me. She was too busy hanging mistletoe from the ceiling of her office.

That's right...she was hanging mistletoe, and she doesn't even celebrate Christmas. I was thinking that was really strange, and then she tells me why….

She has to kiss me. In order to get the conjugal trailer for her family, Caroline told Bones she has to kiss me...on the lips...under some mistletoe. She says it's the only way to get what she wants.

All because Caroline is feeling 'puckish'. What the hell does that even mean? Playful and impish? Yeah, those are two words I would never associate with Caroline.

And I about fall over. Now, I know Bones might have thought I was upset because I didn't want to kiss her, but I'm here to tell you...that wasn't the problem at all. The problem was that thinking about kissing Bones on the lips under the mistletoe leads me to think about all sorts of un-Christmasy fantasies, mostly starring her and me lying naked on a warm beach somewhere...or maybe her and me lying naked on the sofa in her office, or her and me lying naked...well, you get the idea. Is it getting really warm in here? I'm starting to sweat like crazy. Shit...I think my pants are feeling snug under my zipper...

I know I'm sputtering and not making much sense when Bones tells me we're gonna kiss like French people meeting on the street, and I'm trying to slow my heart rate. I'm a sniper, dammit...I'm used to stressful situations. Then Caroline comes in and acts all innocent, congratulating me on finding a suspect in the Santa case as she practically pushes us closer together under the mistletoe. I look over at Bones, and I swear she looks like a cat getting ready to pounce on some poor unsuspecting mouse...but God, she is so beautiful, looking at me with those bright blue eyes. I forget about everything else but her.

She grabs the lapels of my jacket and plants one on me, and I've died and gone to Heaven. She smells so good... Her lips are so soft, and they taste so good, and I want more...so I gently lick her lips and she opens her mouth for me...so soft, so sweet, so tentative...her tongue gently caressing mine...she pulls me closer and my hands slide down her back to her hips as I caress her gently. I know we were supposed to be counting steamboats but I don't give a damn...I don't want this moment to ever end, but she finally pulls away. My heart was pounding so hard the blood is rushing through my ears and I can't hear a thing...I realize Caroline is telling me something, but I have no idea what. My lips are all tingly, like an electric current is running through me. My brain is just too addled to work right. God, I want Bones so bad...what the hell? A flotilla?

I shrug my shoulders, knowing that I should say something, but I have no idea what. "I don't know what that means, but Merry Christmas…." Are my feet touching the ground? God, I must be walking on air. Now my pants are really feeling tight. I just hope she can't see aroused I really am. That would be really embarrassing….

"…..like kissing my brother…" Bones says.

Caroline gives her a stunned look. "You must really love your brother…."

My mouth says, "She does…" but my heart and brain say, "No way!" She felt something besides brotherly love when we kissed. I know she did. The way she leaned into that kiss...the way she tilted her head to get a better angle at me...the way she reacted when I caressed her...she was enjoying that kiss as much as I was...and I know I should take a chance and tell her how I feel about her….

Except my brain won't form coherent sentences. "I need to...um...go…talk to...the forensics guy about...Moussa…" What the hell am I even talking about?

And she says she has to do stuff with bones. Really? That's all she can say? I know she felt something with that kiss...look how flushed she is…she probably couldn't even identify a femur as flustered as she is right now...not that I'm in any better shape...

I start to leave and then I realize she gave me a souvenir. "Uh...thanks for the gum…" and I go charging out of there like I'm on fire, and I try to find something to do so I don't spend the rest of the day thinking about kissing Bones….but what the hell am I gonna do for the rest of my life?

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 **Like I said before, check out 5546Laura's work. She is a truly amazing writer. And let us know what you think of these joint stories!**

 **So I totally missed that the last chapter was number 13, my favorite number! Though you might have already guessed that by my name... Anyway, cheers for thirteen chapters! Thank you all for reading and reviewing! Please continue to do so!**

 **~AlphaGirl13**


	15. Rules And Restrictions

**Another chapter with Booth's POV written by the amazing 5546Laura. This scene is from Season 1, The Girl in the Fridge. Please review! Are you all liking these co-authored stories?**

 **~AlphaGirl13**

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 **Booth's POV by 5546Laura**

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror, and I wonder about the way things are. I wonder if I would really do anything just to close a case...you know, to just to get a conviction. At times, it seems like I'm playing a game, no holds barred. I mean, I'm a very competitive guy, and I play to win at everything, no matter what, whether it's a basketball game or a criminal investigation. So what would I do to win in a court of law? Would I bend the rules? Would I falsify evidence? Would I lie under oath? Of course not! That's the kind of stuff that can get a guy sent to jail. But then I think...would I betray a friend? Would I take advantage of someone who trusts me? And, yeah...I'm ashamed to admit it, but sometimes the answer is yes. Maybe it's one of those 'all's fair in love and war' deals...or maybe it's just me being a good for nothing bastard. I don't know...I wanna close those cases. I wanna get Cullen to notice me, so I can get a promotion...but is it worth damaging my friendship with Bones?

Our case was really tough. It was hard enough proving that the sleazeballs took advantage of a helpless girl, chaining her up and then drugging her with painkillers until she died. The other problem was we were up against a guy that Bones knew...one of her old anthropology professors, and I guess, from what she said, he used to be her lover, too, for awhile. I'm not sure how I feel about that, because I think he took advantage of her when she was naive, and for some reason, that really makes me angry. I mean, who does that kind of shit? Take a vulnerable young girl as a lover just because you're her teacher and she trusts you? Yeah, Stires is a no good jerk. Anyway, I think the thing was, Bones was trying to prove to him that she was a better scientist than he was, because she's really competitive, too, and she never, ever wants to lose at anything.

I'll admit...Stires is a likeable guy, you know...the jury consultant says that people 'love' him because he speaks to the average person so that they feel like they understand where he's coming from. Bones, on the other hand, doesn't give a flying flip if people like her or not. She's gonna stick to the scientific facts, no matter what, and nothing's gonna change her mind, including bitchy jury consultants. That's what makes her Bones.

And that's good, except...what are simple scientific facts to her genius mind are like ancient Greek literature to the rest of the world. She was spouting off all those facts when she was testifying, and she knew what she was talking about, but nobody else did. It made that joker Stires look like he was a great guy, you know, because he cared about making the jury understand. He was all touchy-feely, nicey-nicey, and the jury was a lot more comfortable with him. As far as the jury was concerned, he was a regular guy, and Bones was a robot reading the encyclopedia.

Yeah, that's unfair, but it's true. The jury doesn't get to know someone over a period of time. They just go by the first impression, and their first impression of Bones was that she was a cold, unfeeling genius. She was our expert, and if the jury didn't care about what she was saying, we were sunk, and I wouldn't close this case.

So...I decided to put myself in a position to win. I told the prosecutor to ask Bones about her missing parents. I'm not really proud of what I did, but I also didn't want the Costellos to get away with murder. I'll admit...I was being a royal jerk. I wasn't sure how Bones would react, but I thought the risk was worth it. I was in competition mode, and I wasn't about to let those lousy animals beat me at my own game.

We reconvened in the courtroom, and the prosecutor asked Bones about the damage to the victim's legs, and she used these huge scientific words. I could tell just by looking at the jury that they just didn't care anymore. The prosecutor could feel it, too. He glanced at me, and I nodded yes...take the plunge….and so he did, asking Bones about whether or not wanting the truth about her parents' disappearance made her what she is...an extremely well respected forensic anthropologist. She balked...she doesn't like to talk about that part of her life, but the judge told her she had to answer.

She knew who'd told the prosecutor...it could only have been me. The look she gave me...those icy blue eyes boring right through to my soul...it was the original 'if looks could kill' look. I knew I was going to be in trouble with her, and I wondered if maybe I had gone too far. Would it be worth it if I closed the case and lost her friendship? She's part of the reason I close so many cases to begin with. I held my breath as she started to talk….

"I see a face on every skull. Maggie Schilling is real to me. We can't break her down into little pieces. It doesn't matter if you think I'm boring or obnoxious, because I don't matter. What I feel doesn't matter. Only Maggie matters…"

….and I realize the jury is so totally into what Bones is saying. They're listening, and they're feeling what she feels. That was when I knew we were going to win this case.

After court I sprinted out to see her. I couldn't wait to tell her the good news.

"Bones, the Costellos are trying to cop a plea to a charge that won't mean the death penalty!" But I'm not sure she heard me, or if she did, she was so mad at me she just didn't give a damn about the Costellos any more.

"You had no right! There are some things that are private!" She was livid...I'm glad she wasn't packing heat, or I'd be dead. So I tried to give her an excuse for my behavior...I tried to justify my invasion of her privacy.

"Yeah, maybe you're right, but you know what? This was my case, too, alright? So nothing personal."

I know it was personal to her, but I told myself that she'd get over it, that she wouldn't hold a grudge...she'd understand. It's all about winning the case, right? The means justifies the end... or at least I hope so, because I was notified almost immediately about another case, and I was definitely gonna need her help with it.

"Hey, Bones…" I began as I stuck my head into her office, hoping not to get it bitten off.

She glared at me, her somber expression warning me that I'd better watch my step. "What is it? I'm not feeling very forgiving…"

"Yeah, I know...but we have a case." I flashed a dimple at her for good measure...most women can't resist my charm smile.

She almost did, though. She had to think about it a few seconds before she decided to come with me to the crime scene.

It was a very quiet ride to the Washington Monument and up the construction elevator until we got to the section where the body was. God, the crime scene was awful...someone had burned a body up there. Bones was being clinical...explaining about gender and age and accelerants, but I wasn't really listening. My conscience was bothering me. Bones had helped me a lot with solving cases...probably more than she really had to. She's the reason I've been successful...and I betrayed her trust. Dammit! How come I can't let it go? We won, didn't we? It was worth it, right?

"Hand me my bag." She was pointing at my feet, and I finally figured out what she wanted.

"Yeah, sure. Listen, do you want my coat or something? It's really cold up here." Good one, genius boy...give her your coat...then what will you do?

"If I did, I'd ask for it." Brrr...it just got a lot colder up here. Time to make my apology. "Yeah, sorry...and, um...I'm sorry."

She checked me over like I'm some sort of specimen or something. I guess she was trying to decide if I was sincere. "You had something to accomplish. You found a logical way of getting what you needed. I probably would've done the same thing."

I heaved a huge sigh of relief as we smiled at each other. She had forgiven me, and we were going to be okay.

I decided then and there that no case would ever be more important than our friendship, and I would never, ever do anything to betray her trust again. She's too important to me...I need her friendship too much to ever risk losing it just to win case.

* * *

 **Brennan's POV by AlphaGirl13**

I don't know a lot about interpersonal relationships. I don't know the all the rules or restrictions, but I thought I knew the basics. I thought a painful memory shared in confidence was to be kept between friends. I thought some things were crossing a metaphorical line. Now I have to reevaluate. Booth seems to take anything I know about people and just destroy my expectations. Whether he improves upon my low standards of people, or makes me once again question my trust, he always changes my perspective.

In that light I ask myself, do I really hate him as much as I let on? No. I don't. But I don't understand the rules that allowed him to betray my trust in the way he did. Where are the rules that specify when it's alright to share a damaging past or a painful secret? Where are the rules that tell me when I should forgive and when I need to preserve my own well being? I don't know, and I really hate not knowing.

When that prosecutor asked me about my parents, I felt betrayed. I never asked Booth not to say anything, so technically he had not betrayed my trust. And yet, I couldn't stop the thoughts of anger and mistrust that clouded my mind. I suppose implying silence and confidence was not enough; I had to specifically ask for it.

I looked at Booth, knowing he was the only way for the prosecutor to obtain such information. Too many emotions clouded my rational thought, though I assume that is what the jury consultant wanted: me seeming confused and raw to the jury. An average, vulnerable person. But that's not who I am. My emotions are well guarded and well hidden. At least I thought they were.

I didn't want to talk about it. My past should stay just that: my past. I struggle with the loss of my parents every day, and I don't need to do so in front of other people. They disappeared for whatever reason, and I am not going to see them again. I have accepted that. Pain is fleeting, irrational, and unhelpful. There is no benefit to holding onto pain; it only makes one angry. So I dealt with my pain. I wrapped myself up in my work and my studies. I didn't dwell on the past. At least, I tried not to.

"Dr. Brennan. Your parents disappeared when you were fifteen. And no one's ever found out what happened to them. Isn't that correct?"

But the prosecutor wouldn't leave the issue alone, and the judge had to step in and ask me to answer. I'd been quiet for too long. I made eye contact with Michael before I spoke. He had flinched. He was no longer telling the truth. All of the stories he was making up in his testimonies were stretches, implausible explanations of hard evidence. He was not the man I thought he was.

"That's correct."

"It must be very painful. Is it fair to say that you've been trying to solve the mystery of their loss your whole life?"

"Do I want answers? Yes. As to how that's affected my behavior, which I assume is what you're trolling for, I don't put much stock in psychology."

"Is that why you wrap yourself in techno speak? So you don't have to feel how these victims remind you of your own parents?"

"How I feel doesn't matter! My job doesn't depend on it!"

"But it's informed by it. Or are you as cold and unfeeling as you seem?"

There was that word again: cold. I can't count how many times I've been called that in my life. I try not to let on, but that description always stings just a little. I am guarded for a reason. While emotions are just chemical signals in the brain responding to stimuli, I know they exist. I don't deny my emotions; I just deal with them on my own, in my own way, in my own time. That does not mean I am cold. I am just careful. I know how to feel; I have known pain, fear, comfort, attraction, betrayal. And just like the physical scars on my body, just because you do not see them, does not mean they are not there.

"I see a face on every skull. I can look at their bones and tell you how they walked, where they hurt. Maggie Schilling is real to me. The pain she suffered was real. Her hip was being eaten away by infection from lying on her side. Sure, like Dr. Stires said, the disease could contribute to that if you take it out of context! But you can't break Maggie Schilling down into little pieces. She was a whole person who fought to free herself. Her wrists were broken from struggling against the handcuffs. The bones in her ankles were ground together because her feet were tied. And her side, her hip, and her shoulder were being eaten away by infection! And the more she struggled, the more pain she was in. So they gave her those drugs to keep her quiet. They gave her so much it killed her."

Facts. Science. Proof. Those things should have been enough. But it wasn't. So I turned to face the jury.

"These facts cannot be ignored or dismissed because you think I'm boring or obnoxious because I don't matter. What I feel doesn't matter. Only she matters. Only Maggie."

Memories flooded my mind. Memories of wanting to live. Memories of fighting until blood dripped from injured hands. Memories of refusing to give in. Just like Maggie. I wanted to close my eyes. I wanted everything to fade away and for silence to surround me. I felt closed in, trapped. Just like I had in that car trunk. I could so easily have ended up like Maggie. I could have died in that car and my foster parents would have just tossed my body away. Too many repressed memories have been dragged up during this case. Too many confusing emotions. Too much fear.

So I focused on the facts. The proof. I am not Maggie. I survived. I created a life for myself; I got away.

Only the victim. My emotions and personal experiences don't have any bearing on a case. I present hard facts, undeniable evidence. Of course my past influenced my future. That is the very definition of the a time line. However, I don't see how my parents' disappearance made me the scientist I am today. My studies, my intelligence, those are what contributed to my passion for science.

I don't understand why I'm less appealing to a jury. The only thing that should matter in a case are the facts. The science, the irrefutable evidence in the crime, should be enough to persuade them. Their decision is not supposed to be influenced by how I'm dressed or how physically attractive my opponent is. I could prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that those people killed Maggie Schilling. And yet it took my past being exposed and my emotions bared for them to see for the jury to actually convict.

It was too much. Too much for me to be up there in front of dozens of people, watching me, judging me. I don't talk about my parents with Angela; why the hell would I talk about them to an entire room of people? The short answer is that I didn't. I avoided the issue; I didn't talk directly about them or my experience. As soon as we were dismissed, I walked quickly out of the courtroom.

Michael tried to stop me. I hesitated and turned, briefly contemplating responding to him. But he had also betrayed me. I had shared information with him, bounced ideas and theories off of him, and only later did he decide to tell me he was my opponent. No, actually, Booth had to tell me. Michael didn't even have the decency to tell me face to face.

So I turned silently from my old professor and walked away.

I don't understand the motives of people. Why withhold information? Was his aim to hurt me? Was he trying to get inside information on my findings or the case? Well, the bastard succeeded. He gained access to my private methods and processes.

"Bones."

There it was. That insufferable nickname. And yet, it no longer irritates me. It's almost...sweet.

His voice stopped me. And as I turned, I tried to find the words to express my emotions. He couldn't have possibly known about my personal experiences. He couldn't have known of the pain I'd seen, and yet I still found myself hurt and confused by his comments to the prosecutor. But Booth kept talking, not giving me a chance to speak.

"The Costellos are trying to cop a plea to a charge that won't mean the death penalty. You know they're going down."

I should have been happy that we were likely to win, but I wasn't. I was too focused on the questioning I had just fled from, and yet I wasn't focused at all. My thoughts were everywhere; the chemicals in my brain were causing torrents of emotions. Anger. Hate. Betrayal. Pain. Confusion.

Anger. I could focus on anger. I could understand anger.

"You had no right!" I spoke harshly, releasing the fury I had been withholding. "There are things that are private!"

But when I continued, I heard my voice break, betraying the concealed pain that I felt so keenly. I had told him those things in confidence. I had trusted him...

"Yeah. Maybe you're right. But you know what? This was my case too. Alright, so, nothing personal?"

That made me hesitate. His case too? Was he making a logical argument? I had almost grown accustomed to his emotional responses. And yet, there he was, giving me a rational reason for his break of confidence. He had needed to close his case. He needed a conviction, and I was metaphorically the weak link in the chain.

Without waiting for an answer, Booth walked away.

oo0oo

I sat at my desk, staring at a picture of my parents. The photo was more than 10 years old, but it was one of the few things things I had left of them. Most of their belongings and family heirlooms had been left in the house when I was put into the foster system. I have tried to track down some of it to no avail. Who ever moved into our old house probably trashed a lot of our things.

I sat silently, letting the memories play out. The picnic at the park was my favorite. It was my fifteenth birthday. I smiled slightly at the picture, silently reliving my best memories.

Angela walked in, and I slid the picture back into my drawer. She spoke quietly, making small talk and trying to get me to go out. But I didn't feel social. I just wanted to focus on facts and science. So I declined, truthfully saying I just wanted to work. Spending time alone in bone storage always helps me sort through emotions I don't understand.

But Booth quickly followed, interrupting my quiet thoughts.

He whistled to get my attention. "Hey Bones."

"What is it? I'm not feeling very forgiving."

"Yeah I know. But, uh...we have a case."

He smiled at me. That charm smile that he always uses to try to get me on his side. I hesitated. A case. He was extending a peace offering, an olive branch. Even I could understand the significance and anthropological importance of a gift. Booth must have felt that he offended me, and so felt the need to make up for it with something he thought I would like.

His case too. He had said it was his case too. He needed to convict those people, either for his professional career or his personal balance sheet. Perhaps it was both. I suppose there was some merit in the jury consultant's words. It's plausible that the vocabulary I was using was too advanced for the jury.

So I stood up. I grabbed my kit, and I went with him. I accepted the offer. I accepted his non-verbal apology. But I didn't respond. We stepped onto the construction elevator in silence. I thought about his words. _It was my case too._ So if he could give me a logical argument as to why he would betray my trust, did that excuse his actions? What were the rules pertaining to when disclosing private information was deemed ethical versus cruel? I closed my eyes and fought against my own thoughts. But I couldn't chase away the one statement that kept returning. _You never would have done that._

I tried to tell myself that I would have. If the conviction had rested on Booth's past being revealed, I would have told the prosecutor. _You would never have done that._ But I actually wouldn't have betrayed his trust so blatantly. It was illogical. Why would I preserve his trust over convicting murderers? _Because you have no friends._ A snide voice in my head continued to berate me. As much as I hated it, I knew I would not have done to Booth what he did to me. I had been alone since I was fifteen, and I was an outsider before that. I only had Angela and Booth. I had to preserve those relationships, or I would be alone again. I would never intentionally reveal him the way he did to me. But, I could still see the logic in his reasoning. He deserved to be forgiven. So I would forgive him. I have forgiven him.

Booth touched my shoulder and I jolted from my thoughts. We stepped off the elevator onto the platform. And the first words I spoke to him were facts concerning the body. I listed off observations while he jotted them down on index cards. I bent over and reached to examine the eye sockets. But my bag was by Booth's feet, and in it, my gloves.

"Hand me my bag."

"Yeah, sure. Listen, do you want my coat or something? It's really cold up here."

A typical male show of attempted chivalry. I wasn't cold, and I didn't need his stereotypical efforts to appease me.

"If I did, I'd ask for it."

He looked surprised. Perhaps I spoke too harshly.

"Yeah, sorry...and, um...I'm sorry."

He stuttered an apology. A verbal one this time, lacking anthropological significance or typical male tendencies.

I looked him up and down. He deserved forgiveness. He did something I would never do, but he wasn't me, and he was logical in his execution and his reasoning.

"You had something to accomplish. You found a logical way of getting what you needed." I said quietly.

But then I paused. I was unsure what to say next. What were the rules to this? Should I tell him that I would never repeat his actions? Should I explain how I had too much to lose to betray a friend like he had revealed me?

"I probably would've done the same thing."

I didn't explain anything. I lied.

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 **In case you didn't read any of the bolded words throughout this chapter, I'll say it again. Booth's POV was written by the amazing 5546Laura. Please review this story. And let me know if you are enjoying these collabs!**

 **~AlphaGirls13**


	16. The True Truth

**Sorry I've been so absent lately! I've had to take some serious tests lately, and I just haven't had the time or the sanity to write recently. I have an INCREDIBLY busy summer, but I really hope to update Letter to Booth and Everything I've Done before I am offline for several weeks.**

 **Anyway, I again had the opportunity to work with the amazing 5546Laura. She, as always, wrote Booth's perspective and I wrote Brennan's. This is from The Man in the Fallout Shelter.**

 **~AlphaGirl13**

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Booth's POV, written by 5546Laura

I was sitting in my favorite chair, finally relaxing in my own home late on Christmas night, enjoying a beer, and flipping through the channels on the television. Jesus…120 channels, and there was nothing interesting on...not even NCIS reruns. No bowl games, no hockey, just a blow out basketball game….I stopped channel surfing as something interesting popped up...but no way. I am not going to watch rugby or Australian rules football, or whatever the hell that was. I'm not that desperate. I went through the channels again, hoping to find an old movie, but it looked like I was out of luck. I mean, at this stage of the game, I might even be willing to watch Rudolf again. Parker loves that movie, so I must have seen it fifty times over the last month. I guess I've got it memorized by now. There just wasn't anything on television worth watching tonight, so I turned off the set. I sat in my chair a few minutes longer, slumping back as I finally realized just how tired I really was. I was really beat, and it was midnight. Might as well hit the sack. I was really looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight.

I drained my beer, and got up to put the bottle in the kitchen, groaning as I tried to stretch out my stiff back and sore neck muscles. Two nights of sleeping on the floor of Dr. Goodman's office had done a number on my back. Nothing like a forced Christmas quarantine to make a guy feel old, it seems. God, I'm so achy...now I know how Pops must feel everyday. But I guess in the long run it was worth it. Just remembering how much Parker enjoyed playing with the robot that Zack had given me this morning makes me grin like an idiot. Parker has officially proclaimed that his dad is the coolest dad in the world because of that crazy thing. He likes to make the robot do push ups and back flips, even if it doesn't always do what it's told. I know I would've never been able to find that kind of gift at a toy store, especially since I had waited until the last minute this year to do my shopping for his gift. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to be cooped up for a couple of days in the lab with that bunch of squints after all. I've gotten to know them all a little bit better, and I received a great gift to pass along to Parker.

Of course, Rebecca didn't see it that way. To hear her tell it, I deliberately asked Zack and Hodgins to expose me to a deadly airborne lung fungus from the remains I'd brought to the lab a few days before Christmas, just so I could personally screw up her social life by ruining her Christmas plans. Seriously, how unreasonable could one woman possibly be? And then she acts like I should be especially grateful because she lets me see Parker for a few hours on Christmas Day. He's my son, too _,_ and it's no skin off her ass, is it? I mean, all she had to do was to drop Parker off at Sid's place. She didn't have to see me at all, except when she came to pick him up. Then it was bitch, bitch, bitch about how she had to change her plans around just for me to see my kid. Finally I just decided not to worry about it anymore. I couldn't do anything to fix the situation, you know? I think she just really enjoys being mad at me, so there you go...Merry Christmas, Rebecca.

So now I'm lying in my own bed, and I know I should be asleep, but it's not working out that way. I keep tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable, but I can't seem to relax. Everytime I close my eyes, there she is….there's Bones, standing on the steps of the lab platform, watching all of us rush away after we got the all clear from the lung fungus tests. I mean, I was all for hightailing it out of there myself, but when I turned around to say goodbye...it was like it wasn't even Bones I was looking at. I was looking at some sad, scared teenaged girl who was watching the people she loved abandon her all over again. The squints, and me, too, I guess, are the only thing close to a family she has left. Nobody came to see her at the lab last night during the visiting hours. All the rest of us had family or friends come to see us, but she doesn't have anybody, you know? Of course, she was shrugging it off, acting like it was no big deal that we were leaving and she'd be alone, because that's how she handles the sticky emotional stuff. She told me to go have Christmas with Parker, and not to worry about her, but I just couldn't let it go. I took a deep breath, and invited her to meet me and Parker at Wong Foo's. I was pretty sure she'd say no, but I had to ask. I just couldn't stand to see her looking so lonely like that on Christmas Day. I guess I wanted her to know that someone cared about her.

I was kind of surprised when Bones showed up a couple of hours later this afternoon. She said it was just to tell me about Ivy Gillespie and her granddaughter, but I think maybe she realized she actually wanted some company today, it being Christmas and all. And the ironic part? The woman who did nothing but piss and moan about how gifts are used by people to establish 'anthropological hierarchies' on a 'whole holiday devoted to the pursuit of status' gave Ms. Gillespie the best gift that could ever be given to anyone. Ms. Gillespie was able to love and cherish Careful Lionel's memory again because Bones took the time to look her up and tell her the truth about what had really happened to him, not to mention giving Ms. Gillespie's granddaughter an old penny worth a fortune. Of course, Bones acted like it was no big deal that she gave that woman the love of her life back after all these years. To her, it's just what she does, and that's just who she is. In her mind, she's got to use the talents she has to find the truth for other people.

It was time for me and Parker to leave, so we said our goodbyes. Parker waved and smiled, and Bones waved back, giving us a smile of her own. I think maybe that's my gift from her. She may finally be willing to see me as a friend...as someone she can trust. I hope so, because the truth is...I can't think of a finer person to be my friend.

Merry Christmas, Bones.

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Brennan's POV, written by AlphaGirl13

I'm sitting on my bed and I can't seem to make up my mind. There are dozens books sitting in front of me and I can't choose one to read. Standing up, I walk over to the shelf and grab my old college advanced anatomy textbook. But one glance at the first page and I promptly slam it closed with a frustrated sigh. Setting it harshly on the bed, I lay back and close my eyes, wondering what Booth is doing right now. Is he still with his son? Or is he perhaps sitting at alone at his apartment? He would hate to be alone on Christmas. I scrunch up my face, holding my eyes closed as tightly as I can. _I_ hate being alone on Christmas. I hate the reminders of my old life. Shaking my head, I sit up and walk briskly out of my apartment. Wallowing in self pity and sorrow are not conducive to forgetting pain.

I climb into my car and drive without thinking. I turn at some intersections, and I drive straight through others. Unwanted memories flood my mind as street signs whizz past. My mother smiles at me as I shyly unwrap a small gift from under the tree. Russ grins mischievously as he holds my stocking high above my head. My father laughs heartily while I smile stupidly at a new anatomy puzzle.

Tears prick at the corners of my eyes and I slowly stop the car. The empty street stretches out in front of me as I grip the steering wheel. The gifts from that Christmas are still sitting, unopened, in my office. Booth would tell me to open them. Sighing, I pull off to the side of the road and rub my eyes.

When Christmas comes each year, I'm different. I'm the same logical, unbreakable anthropologist, but it's more of an act than usual. The pain that I felt so keenly that Christmas has faded over the years, but pain never truly goes away. A single flower petal can remind a man of a lost loved one, a song can remind a girl of a lover long gone, or a string of brightly colored lights can remind a scientist of the girl she used to be.

Sighing, I shake my head to clear my thoughts and pull back into the empty street. I drive slowly to the Jeffersonian, skirting along back roads and avoiding what little traffic peppers the streets. Booth would tell me to open the gifts. He would ask me what I'm so afraid of, what I'm still waiting for. Honestly, I can't answer those questions. I couldn't bear to get rid of the gifts, so I took them with me when I entered the foster system. I was never able to keep them in my apartment, so I've locked them in a cabinet in my office. And I haven't taken them out in years. Until tonight I guess.

The lab is dark and quiet. Everyone has gone home to their families for Christmas and there's a dark nostalgia to the atmosphere. Memories dance across the dark crevices of the lab as I stand nervously in the front hallway. My breathing hitches and I try to sort through the images flooding my mind.

I see torn wrapping paper and glowing lights. I see stuffed stockings and steaming cookies. I see my parents growing quiet and secretive. I see Russ walking away. I see years of Christmases with strangers and then years alone alone. I see years of fleeing the country, of digging in muddy pits. The final memories that play in my mind are the scenes of my colleagues touching their hands to the glass that separated them from their families. No one had come to see me. There was no one for me to see.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can still see his smile. The one he had the entire time we were at Wong Foo's. He had offered me an invitation to join him, and after some consideration, I had accepted the offer. This is the first Christmas I haven't spent alone since my last year in the foster system. He had offered. He knew about my parents, and yet he didn't press. He only offered himself to me. He offered his companionship, his trust. No one but Angela had given me that in a long time.

I open my eyes and sigh. Flicking the light switches, I stand silently in front of the forensics platform. Booth gave me someone to trust, someone to talk to. Even I can tell there's a difference between our friendship and my friendship with Angela. He has given me little pieces of himself. He has shared things with me and trusted me. And maybe that's his Christmas present to me, giving me someone to trust. Giving me a friend.

I watch the lights slowly click on. I hesitate; the gifts are a beast I have yet to face. But Booth gave me the courage to at least try. He offered me his strength without asking for anything in return. I can't think of a finer person to be my friend.

Merry Christmas, Booth.

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 **Hope you all enjoyed! Review, let me know what you think of my writing(I always appreciate constructive criticism). Check out 5546Laura's stories, she's an amazing writer.**

 **~AlphaGirl13**


	17. The Superhero

**I once again had the privilege of working with the amazingly talented 5546Laura to write this chapter! She wrote from Booth's point of view, and I, from Brennan's. This is from Superhero in the Alley. I hope you all enjoy!**

 **~AlphaGirl13**

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Booth's POV by 5546Laura

God, I hate cases like this. Bones and her team at the lab just told me that our victim was a kid. So I gotta ask myself...why was this kid wearing what looks like a bondage outfit? Weird, right?

Bones went with me when I had to break the news to Warren Granger's parents. He was a young man, just starting out in life, with his whole future ahead of him, and now he's gone. I hate when I have to do that sort of thing. I snarked at her a bit on the way there, telling her she didn't have to come with me, but I was secretly pleased that she wanted to come instead of studying the ancient bones of some woman they found on another continent. We're finally getting that partner thing down, I guess. Bones acts like she wants us to spend time working together. Once she's on a case, she throws herself into it with her whole heart. That's what makes her a good partner.

We were standing in Warren's bedroom after his stepdad left us alone, and then it hit me. The kid who died and Bones had a lot in common. He spent a lot of time alone, just like she tends to do. It looked like he also spent a lot of time in a fantasy world, writing graphic novels about fighting crime and ending injustice. Now I know Bones was kind of upset when I suggested that her novels are her way of escaping to her own fantasy world, but it seems like the truth to me. She denies it, but she does the same thing Warren did. She writes fiction stories about characters who fight crime and seek justice. She takes people she knows and tweaks their personalities a bit to make it seem like they're somebody new, just like he did. I know Bones wants to be a crimefighter. That's why she goes out in the field with me. She doesn't wear a superhero identity, but she's a lot like Warren in so many other ways.

Or so I thought at first. Warren wanted to have super powers, so he wrote about them in his Citizen 14 stories. Bones, on the other hand, has real superpowers. I mean, it's not like she can run faster or jump higher than anyone else in the world, but she can think at lightning speed. I've never known anyone who knows as much about science as she does. She's a genius, and fortunately for me, she's chosen to use her superpowered brain to help me fight crimes. Imagine being able to find out the age, sex, and race of an assailant from a thin piece of bone shaving. She can look at the way a person stands and she can tell if they've been injured by a fall or by a fist. She knows by looking at the bones of someone how they lived and how they died. She's such an amazing person...

And in the end, it turned out that maybe Warren really was a superhero. He was sick with cancer, to the point where he probably wasn't gonna get better, and the whole time he hid his physical pain from his mom and stepdad. Warren tried to stand up to a man twice his size...a man who was abusing his wife. I guess Warren figured he didn't have anything left to lose, since he was dying anyway. That's when Bones said that Warren was a lot like me, because he was trying to make a difference before he died. Like I said, she has superpowers. She can read minds...she knows that's what I want out of life, too.

I'm glad Bones is gonna be there to help me make that difference.

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Brennan's POV By AlphaGirl13

I'm sitting at my writing desk, a glass of red wine sitting in it's usual place next to my computer. Letting my eyes roam over the polished wooden surface, I can see why Booth said I'm like Warren. Everything on my desk has it's place. I have one jar full of pens, a pad of paper and a perfectly sharpened pencil, my writing laptop, and a circle of slightly worn wood where I always set my wine glass.

But writing is simply a hobby for me. No, I saw far more resemblance between Booth and Warren than I see between him and myself. Warren was a good kid. He was genuinely concerned for others, and his only wish was to make a difference before he died. The way I see it, that desire was very similar to Booth's "cosmic balance sheet" ideas. He wants to attone for perceived sins before he dies. He wants to help people, to make a difference.

Though Warren did not manage to kill or directly bring "The Twisted" to justice, his death led us to the abusive son of a bitch.

That aside, Warren was so selfless that he attacked a man twice his size to save a woman he barely knew. That is something Booth would do, and probably has done. So therein lies the similarity between the two. Their selflessness and sense of duty and responsibility.

I, on the other hand, shared very little with Warren other than a talent for writing. I do not use my books as an escape, they are simply a side hobby of mine. I do not envision myself fighting crime; I do that in the real world every day. And I most certainly do not think of myself as possessing superpowers. I am of above average intelligence, but in no way am I "superhuman."

Besides, of the two of us, Booth is far closer to possessing superpowers than I. He likes to compliment me, but I know that when it comes to "superhuman" attributes, he far out ranks me. I have nothing but my intelligence and my martial arts skills. He possesses the uncanny ability to read people, his incredibly marksmanship, and his emotions. Yes, I do believe that is a superpower. One I will never possess. His emotions dictate everything he does. They allow him to give mercy, to understand a helpless victim, and to ultimately decide what he feels is good versus evil.

Booth is far more similar to Warren than I am. But he will continue insisting it is the other way around.

But no matter what Booth claims, I can prove that my books aren't based on anything in real life. By Booth's words, fiction always has a drab and plain inspiration from the real world. In my books, Kathy has Agent Andy. And he couldn't possibly be based on Booth. Because, even if Booth were the real world mirror of Andy, he is far greater than the fictional agent could ever be.

So no, my books are not based on real life. Because instead of reality falling far short of fiction, my fiction falls far short of my reality.

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 **I hope you all liked it! Please review, and check out 5546Laura's page. This has been posted to her story, Thoughts on Being a Duck, as well. Let us know what you thought!**

 **~AlphaGirl13**


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